The cwazy adventures of ChibiAuron!
by chibilinnet
Summary: I am back from the dead! LOL, Anyway, story picks up here, no more stalling, and random stuff happens. THIS time I was listening to Robo's Theme. IT'S SO HAPPY AND CHEERFUL! EVERYONE DANCE WITH ME! YOU TOO, ZIM!
1. WHEEEEE! AURON WITH KITTY EARS AND A TAI...

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THE CRAZY ADVENTURES OF CHIBI-AURON!!

Note: I own nothing in this comic except my kitten. CUTE LITTLE KIWWY! *huggles her kitten*

*Setting: a nice, cozy apartment room with a big-screen TV, various consoles of the readers choice (and a PS2) set up, and a big, comfy blue couch, and last but not least, the fake crackling fire!*

Sephy: heheheheeee! I like this house!! *relaxes on couch*

Seymour: It's an apartment, stupid, and it's mine, stupid, so DON'T TOUCH THE VARIOUS GAME CONSOLES OF THE READER'S CHOICE AND THE MANDATORY PS2!!

Sephy: Meanie!! *starts to cry*

*meanwhile, an orange tabby cat jumps on Sephy's lap and purrs happily*

Seymour: AAHHH!! IT'S THAT DAMNED CAT!!

Cat: Eh?? I'm not a cat, I'm.. *POOF!*

*Chibi-Auron stands there, with kitty ears and a tail. Very scary, is it not?*

Chibi-Auron: I'M CHIBI-AURON!! YIPPIE!! *starts jumping on the couch*

Sephy: Seymour.. I have a kid with kitty ears jumping on my lap..

Seymour: No shit, stupid! What are we gonna do about this stupid cat?? *shrugs and is about to play a game of the reader's choice, but the game never loads*

Seymour: HUH??

Chibi-Auron: SEYMOUR WAS MEAN!! Seymour and Sephy don't get to play any games until they help me with me adventure!! TEE-HEHEHEHEEE!!

Sephy: Adventure?? Ok, as long as there is no more damn flower girls.. I have allergies, you know.. *sniffle*

Seymour: NEVER!! DIIIEEE!! *charges toward Chibi-Auron, but gets pushed back with the Murasame*

Sephy: how come Auron doesn't have the Masamune?

Me: cuz you do..

Sephy: Why does he have the Murasame?

Me: cuz I never got the Masamune in my FFX game, I never needed it! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! Oh, but I did have the Murasame!

Sephy: YAY! I KEEP MY SWORD!! *huggles the Masamune*

Masa: we feel loved!

Mune: Yes!

Doreen: MASA! MUNE! CLEAN THIS MESS YOU MADE IN THE KITCHEN!!

Masa: Crap..

Mune: you said it..

Sephy: ^_^

Seymour: Ok, OK, what are we supposed to do??

Chibi-Auron: Help me find the **ULTRA RARE SUPER SHINY RAINBOW SHINY THING!**

Kaz: NUH-UH!! THAT'S OUR STORY!!

Dante: YEAH!!

Seph: Yep!

Sephy: .... it's me! *points to Seph*

Seymour: what's the difference between Seph and Sephy?

Me: Sephy is older, and thus more stupider.

Sephy: what is stupid?

Chibi-Auron: I see. ANYWAY, fine, you have to help me SAVE the world so I can get all the glory!!

Seymour: We're villans, we're supposed to destroy the world!

Sephy: Yeah.. uh.. I think..

Chibi-Auron: YOU HELP ME SAVE THE WORLD AND HOG THE GLORY OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE READER'S FAVORITE GAME EVER AGAIN, WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE!!

*Chibi-Auron holds up the reader's favorite game, whatever it may be, and is ready to snap it in half if it is a CD or crush it if it is a cartridge*

Seymour: NOOOO!! SPARE THE READER'S FAVORITE GAME WHICH WILL BE MY FAVORITE GAME TOO!!

Chibi-Auron: Then you must help me!! *grins in his own lovable cute way*

Sephy: OK! We'll help!! But what is causing all this world crisis?

Seymour: wow, Sephy has a good vocabulary!

Sephy: what's a vo..ca..bu..larry...?

Seymour: never mind..

Chibi-Auron: THIS! *shows both a poster of Britney Spears going on a world tour, hosted by AOL*

Sephy: BRITNEY SPEARS AND AOL?? HOW EVIL CAN THAT BE??

Seymour: *whimpers and hides behind the couch*

Chibi-Auron: We gotta destroy AOL first, they are funding the event, then we kill BRITNEY SPEARS!!

Seymour: Ok.. *whimpers*

Sephy: YAY!! WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This fic is dedicated to me kitty, Auron, which is why the Auron in this fic has kitty ears and a tail. And I don't mean to make Sephy sound like a complete idiot, but I like it!! Yeah, it sucks..

But you must save your favorite game from doom! So... along the way, their party slot will be filled up by some random guy. I *could* get some suggestions on who this mysterious fourth character can be.. *read: review*

MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!

-chibilinnet the insanely stupid one. 


	2. Master Bling Bling and his Pokemon Cards

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CHAPTER TWO: ARRRGGHH! MORE SEPHYS!

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy, this one is for you! :)

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing, nada, zip. SO BACK OFF, LAWYERS! *hisses* The characters Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to just Golden Sephy. Doesn't make sense? I thought so! And the phrase "Bling bling and dat ish whack belongs to Mystik Amethyst

MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! See? I listen to requests!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Up ahead, out heroes see **THE FOREST OF VAMPIRES! (and bling-bling and dat ish whack)**

Chibi-Auron: Ooooh! I heard about this place! There are two vampires here, and we must offer them some sort of blood subsitute, or have 2 legendary warriors to combat them!

Seymour: Nice job, Point Dexter.

Chibi-Auron: *HISS!*

Seymour: O_o

*two figures jump in front of the group, with a flash of Gold and Silver*

Sephy: WHHHEEE! MORE MEs!

Golden Sephy (G.S): Did ya call for..

Silver Sephy(S.S): ...two legendary warriors?

Chibi-Auron: YAY!! *huggles both* You called me kawii! Couse ya can be in the story! ^_^

Seymour: *eye twitch* too...many.... Sephys..

Sephy: Yay!

Chibi-Auron: We need you to protect us from the two evil vampires!!

S.S: You mean Vincent and Magus?

G.S: Will do! But not for free, you see...

Chibi-Auron: Oh, well uh.. we're a bit on a budget..

Seymour: We'll let you join our group, and you can have partial credit for saving the world from Britney Spears and AOL.

S.S: And a 5000 gil cash deposit.

Seymour: HELL NO!

Sephy: But then we have to fight those scary vampires by ourselves!!

Chibi-Auron: why not?

Seymour: ... fine.. 2500 gil

G.S: 4000 gil

Seymour: 1 gil

S.S: You're stupid. 3500 gil, no more, no less.

Seymour: 3000 gil.

G.S: Didn't ya hear Silver right?

Seymour: *grumbles and pays up*

S.S and G.S: YAY! We'll be honored to protect you!

Chibi-Auron: Finally..

(And, so, they venture deeper into the forest ((play the FFX song Calm Before the Storm in your head. If you don't know what that is, it's the forest music)), not knowing what they will find..

???: THIS COKE TASTES LIKE GINGERALE!!

??? (2): I know..

???: You know what Magus? You suck at shopping!

Magus: Oh, shut up Vincent! WHY DON'T YOU DO THE SHOPPING YERSELF?

Vincent: The light! *hisses*

Magus: -_-"

(Just to clear things up, Magus and Vincent are not gay. They are living in a forest because people keep on splashing Holy Water and the like on them)

Magus: I miss Schala..

Vincent: And I miss Lucrecia..

Seymour: OH JUST SHUT UP! I HATE HEARING YOU TWO MOAN AND GRIPE ABOUT TWO WOMEN WHO ARE OBVIUSLY DEAD!

Vincent: Don't be mean! *starts crying*

Magus: Hey, don't be mean to my brother!

Chibi-Auron: you two are brothers?

All (cept Vincent and Magus): O_o

Magus: Twins!

Sephy: But you don't look the same..

S.S: They are faternal twins. They look different..

G.S: but still are twins, like Silver and me.

Vincent: But we are so much alike! We both gripe about two dead woman, people say we're both vampires and uhh...

Magus: We're both morbid?

Vincent: YEAH!

Chibi-Auron: But Vinnie said he didn't like the light...

Vincent: NO ONE CALLS ME VINNIE BUT... my dear sweet Yuffie..

Magus: Oh dammit, this author is a Vincent/Yuffie fan.. someone shoot me..

Vincent: OK! ^_^ *takes out Death Penalty and shoots Magus*

Seymour: I don't think he meant it literally.

Vincent: Oh well! Hey, can I join you in whatever your adventure will be?

Sephy: But..

Vincent: YAY!!

**Vincent joined the party!**

**Name selection screen comes up**

Me: MWAHAHAHAHAAA!! *laughs evily and puts Vinnie as Vincent's name*

Vinnie: DAMMIT!

All: *in hysterical fits of laughter*

Vinnie: How come the weird Sephy twins don't have their names changed?

G.S: We're guest stars!

S.S: The author listens to requests, you know..

Chibi-Auron: This was a disturbing chapter..

Sephy: The author changed my name too! But I like me name!

Vinnie: *eye twitches*

Sephy: Ooooh.. that looks fun.. *eye twitches too*

Vinnie: *eye twitches yet again*

Chibi-Auron: *twitches his eye too*

G.S and S.S: *twitches eyes*

Seymour: *joins in the eye twitching*

*And so, after a little eye twitching contest (Vinnie won), our heroes go to the ext of the forest, where they find..*

****

MASTER BLING BLING OF ALL DAT ISH WHACK! (can I use this Cait? Please? PLLLEEAASEEEE??)

Master Bling Bling: WASSAP?? *eye twitches*

Chibi-Auron: YO YO YO! *eye twitches too*

Master Bling Bling: Ya gotta defeat me in a duel to get past this here forest, ya cool wit' that?

Seymour: Great merciful God, will you allow this author to make Master Bling Bling talk normal, as she does not know street talk?

Master Bling Bling: Fine..

G.S: *pokes Vinnie and pushes him in front of Chibi-Auron* He's doing the duel! He's the only one with a gun!

Vinnie: ... *meep*

Master Bling Bling: NOT THAT KIND OF DUEL! This kind! *whips out a pack of Pokemon Cards*

All: O_o

Sephy: YAY! *takes out his deck* Let's duel...

Master Bling Bling: Yeesss..

*5 hours later*

Sephy: WAHAHAHAAA! I love you Persian..

Master Bling Bling: FOOL! TAKE THIS! *evolves Charmeleon to Charizard*

Sephy: ... you don't have enough energy cards to make Charizard attack..

*Charizard card has one Fire Energy*

Master Bling Bling: ... Dammit..

Sephy: *knocks out Charizard* I win!

Master Bling Bling: :( FINE! LEAVE THIS FOREST! *kicks everyone out*

All: YAY!!

*Now our heroes have left the forest of Bling Blings and they must cross to the happy city of Sisterly love.. TOWNSVILLE!!!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want a character (yours or another, I don't care) feel free to ask. Simply just say if you want to stick around for the whole journey or if you wanna stay for a chapter or two, a little description of what you look like, and whatever weapon you use. 

And Golden-Sephy, if ya don't like the way I portray Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy, tell me so I can fix it! ^_^() OK, me leave now!

-chibilinnet, mighty dictator of Tin-Tin *eye twitches*


	3. Two new people and the reason Vinnie is ...

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CHAPTER THREE: AND THE DAY IS SAVED..

but not by the Powerpuff girls. And I own nothing, need I remind you cruel lawyers that! NOOOTHING!

And the names Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to the writer Golden-Sephy: ^_^

And: G.S= Golden Sephy and S.S= Silver Sephy. Good? Good! And there will be new people , bit I dun wanna spoil it! But I don't own the new chracters, they belong to the wonderful, holy, heaven-sent reviewers! THANKS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Ahh, the city of Townsville... where we see a very strange group enter the city for no apparent reason!*

Hmm... A chibi with cat ears (and a tail), three Sephys, a regular one, a silver one, and a gold one, A suicidal Guado and a hyperactive ex-vampire

G.S: I love it here! Shopping!

S.S: *hisses*

Sephy: Yay! More new happy people in the fic! 

Seymour: Oh great.

Vinnie: Be a happy person, Seymour!

Chibi-Auron: I got a line! yay!

S.S: .. why are we here?

Chibi-Auron: .. I don't know..

Vinnie: BOUNCY! BOUNCY! *starts bouncing around like an idiot*

Seymour: *eye twitches*

Vinnie: (who is the eye twitching champion) *eye twitches*

Seymour: Oh, I give up! You people are horrible!

G.S: Why, thank you!

S.S: Never thought you'd love us!!

Seymour: ... Didn't you two ask me annoying questions in another fic..?

G.S: .. I think..

S.S: Yeah, and the author of that fic's character is right over there *points to a gothic figure behind Seymour*

Sephy: That's..

Chibi-Auron: Disturbing?

Sephy: No..

Vinnie: FUNNY??

Sephy: YES!

Chibi-Auron: VINNIE! I thought you were gothic like like the eerie figure lurking behind Seymour. What happened??

Vinnie: Welll... it was on a happy sunny day after we beat Sephiroth..

Sephy: IT HURT! *snifflez*

Vinnie: AND ANYWAY.. I went to Lucrecia Falls, and I saw that slut Lucrecia, and she was making out with the ghost of Hojo, and I freaked out, and for some damned reason, I've become hyper, but only to cover out the pain I feel.. hehehee.. now I'm INSANE!! INSANITY IS FUN!!

All (including gothic figure behind Seymour): .....

Vinnie: *is smiling and shaking uncontrollably* heheheheheee...

Gothic figure lurking behind Seymour: Poor Vincent..

Vinnie: IT'S VINNIE!

G.F.L.B.S: OK, Vinnie.. Poor Vinnie..

Vinnie: Hehehhee.. I....like....shiny...things...

Sephy: So...um..hi, Gothic figure lurking behind Seymour?

Hellfire Guado: My name is Hellfire Guado! Stupid!

Sephy: sowwie.. why are you here?

Vinnie: Don't you see... HE'S THE MUFFIN MAN!

S.S: Vinnie, be quiet before you hurt yourself.

Vinnie: *in his normal voice, whatever it is* Oh, as if Lucrecia didn't already hurt me enough! That %^$#7@! SLUT!!

All: ....

Vinnie: ... Cheese tastes good! *smiles all kawii*

All: *whew*...

Hellfire Guado: Anyway, I'm here to join the party!

Chibi-Auron: Well.. you just can't join..ya need to be useful..

Hellfure Guado: ... I know when the Ice Cream Truck is coming..

Vinnie and Sephy: YAY! *both huggle Hellfire Guado* 

Vinnie (to Golden Sephy): Can we keep him mama?

G.S: *rolls eyes* I'm NOT your mother! (yes, Golden Sephy is a girl. Oops. Hopefully, all is forgiven..)

Seymour: Let him join, he's the only semi-sane one I know!

S.S: What about us??

Seymour: Too..many..Sephys.. *eye twitches*

Vinnie: *eye twitches uncontrollably*

Chibi-Auron: *smacks Seymour with his tail* Thanks a lot Seymour, now Vinnie won't quit!

Vinnie: *still twitching his eye*

Hellfire Guado: *sigh*

Vinnie: *stops*

Hellfire Guado: *sighs again*

Vinnie: *still doing nothing*

Chibi-Auron: .. Vinnie, you need the breathe sometime..

Vinnie: *face is turning blue*

Seymour: *twitches eye*

Vinnie: *starts breathing and twitching his eye*

Hellfire Guado: *snickers*

Vinnie: *stops twitching his eye, but is still breathing*

S.S: OK, can we go now?

Sephy: The eye twitching is scaring me mommy! *hides behind G.S*

G.S: (kill...)

Vinnie: ... *eyes glazed over*

Chibi-Auron: ... Is he OK?

Seymour: .. I think he's hypnotized or something..

Vinnie: ...

S.S: We should get him to a hospital or something, Vinnie looks feverish..

Chibi-Auron: *pushes Vinnie* Yo, Vincent, you OK?

Vinnie: ...

Seymour: He didn't even correct you! Vincent! Valentine! Vinnie! HEY! *starts poking Vinnie*

Vinnie: *faints*

Hellfire Guado: Good job, Seymour, you killed him!

Seymour: Shut up..

Sephy: He just fainted.. I think..

Vinnie: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....

G.S: HEY! *shakes Vinnie* WAKE UP!!

S.S: Well, this sucks..

Vinnie: ...HEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!

All (even Vinnie): AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Vinnie: I SCARED YOU!! HEHEHEHEEEE!

All: *glare murderiously at Vinnie*

Vinnie: ..sowwy?

All: KILL! *start chasing poor Vinnie*

Vinnie: NOOOOOOO!

**Now the group (including Hellfire Guado) are walking across Townsville Park, except Vinnie is tied up and gagged and is being carried over Seymour's shoulder**

???: HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE!

???(2): What are you doing with that poot guy tied up and bound!

Vinnie: *growls*

???(3): Let him go before we bust you up!

Sephy: ... But he was annoying us!

Chibi-Auron: Yeah!

???(2): *sees Chibi-Auron with his kitty ears and tail* AWWWWWW!! *tackles Auron* He's so cute!

???:(1): BUBBLES! DON'T HUG THE ENEMY!

Bubbles: Aww, Blossom, you're no fun!

Buttercup: IT'S THE ENMY! LET'S JUST ZAP THEM!!

Blossom: Yeah. anyway, I left the PlayStation2 on!

Bubbles: Stupid.

Blossom: WHATCHA CALL ME BLONDIE??

**The three bickering girls get unteruppted by a..**

AngelKnight: BAZOOKA WEILDING MANIAC!! MWAHAHAHAAAA!

Hellfire Guado: Oh, now what?

AngelKnight: I'm the other guest!

S.S: Now we have 8 people. Wow.

G.S: I know!

Vinnie: mmmmm! (still tied up and gagged)

Sephy: *drools*

Seymour: Yay?

Chibi-Auron: OK, let's high tail it! YYYYAAAAAHHHH!

**All 8 run away before the Powerpuff Girls notice they are gone**

Buttercup: Nice going, you two! I'm gonna play FF7 now..

Blossom: NO! GTA3!

Bubbles: RESIDENT EVIL!

Buttercup and Blossom: WHAT?? 

Bubbles: It's a fun game! ZOMBIE HEADS GO EXPLODEY! WWWHHHHHHEEEE!

**ANYWAY.. outside of Townsville in a clearing..**

Chibi-Auron: YAY! FREE!

Vinnie: *claws his way out of the ropes* Yeah!

Hellfire Guado: Damn! We shoulda done something about that claw..

Vinnie: I LIKE MY CLAW!

AngelKnight: Yeah it makes Vincent... Vincent!

Vinnie: HEY! MY-

G.S: His name..

S.S: Is Vinnie!

Sephy: Do you two al-

S.S: Always predict what you say and..

G.S: finish off the sentence? Yep!

Hellfire Guado: Anyway, I'm hungry..

Chibi-Auron: Let's make s'mores!

Seymour: Great, but where are we gonna toast em? We're not near any forests and if we light the grass in the clearing we'll..

Vinnie: ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES!

AngelKnight: Lets..

G.S: Use Hellfire...

S.S: ...Guado's head!

AngelKnight: *hisses* STOP THAT! *shows Bazooka*

G.S and S.S: *shut up*

Hellfire Guado: HELL NO!!

Sephy: THEN WE'RE GONNA STARVE!! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS STAY HOME AND WATCH BARNEY!!

Seymour: Naw man, the Teletubbies!

Sephy: BARNEY!

Seymour: TELETUBBIES!

Sephy: BARNEY!

Seymour: TELETUBBIES!

Everyone else: O_o

AngelKnight: ... Are the always like this?

Chibi-Auron: *is about to answer but..*

S.S: Sephy, yes.

G.S: Seymour, no.

Chibi-Auron: *pouts*

Vinnie: Hey! Let's play a game!

Hellfire Guado: What kind?

Vinnie: ... I don't know..

Sephy: BARNEY!

Seymour: TELETUBBIES!

AngelKnight: SHUT UP! *shows Bazooka again*

Sephy and Seymour: *shuts up*

Chibi-Auron: OK.. so.. what kind of game will we play?

All: ... *think*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, while the group is stranded there doing nothing, even thought they're supposed to go to the AOL HQ, they need a game to play! 

Anyway, I'm STILL accepting cameo requests, I'll stop when the group becomes too much for me to handle. So far, so good.

And if you have a suggestion on what game they can play, lemme hear it. I have no clue what they can play, but I'm bound to think of something.. but suggestions are welcome!

-chibilinnet, the keeper of the Greater Staff on Pancakes


	4. You've never played Tag like this I bet ...

****

CHAPTER FOUR: XTREME TAG! SHEEEE-YAH!

With 10 people in a big open field, it practically screams Tag, right? Thanks Golden-Sephy, another great idea! *huggles* And two new people are coming up! 

So now they take a break by playing tag. With magic, lethal weapons, and more than one mind teetering to insanity (with one already lost in the abyss of insanity).

This is gonna be good. Remember, I dun own any of the characters, Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy, Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou (who has a pretty damn good website, ya oughta check it out), AngelKnight belongs to angelknight, and one new character belongs to GeminiDeathStar, the other BloodProphicy. And the rest to Square. 

But first, a few notes:

I award the PLAQUE OF PERMANENT MEMBERSHIP to angelknight, and Auron no Aijou. Yay! You're in for the whole story!

And Vinnie has something to say:

Vinnie: I see that some people are calling me Vincent. Well, my name is VINNIE! V-I-N-N-I-E! VIIIINNNIIIEE! PLEASE CALL ME BY MY PROPER NAME! Thank you.

Of course, you don't have to listen to Vinnie, do you? On with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

G.S: We play tag!

S.S: Tag? Fuuun..

Seymour: TAG?? OK, I'm out of here..

Chibi-Auron: *Holds your favorite game over Hellfire Guado's head, which is Seymour's favorite game too*

Seymour: OK, I'll stay

AngelKnight: WHHHEE! TAG!!

Hellfire Guado: I'm bored. Sure.

Vinnie: Damn, I wanted strip Poker!

Sephy: ... Vinnie, you're scary..

Vinnie: I know! *grins at Sephy, revealing blood-stained fangs*

Sephy: M-MOMMY!! *hides behind G.S*

G.S: Oh well, I pity the stupid one.. *huggles Sephy*

Chibi-Auron: Me no get huggle? *gets all teary-eyed*

G.S: AWWWW! *huggles both*

Seymour: what about me?

G.S: *hisses at Seymour*

Seymour: OK..

AngelKnight: Fine, BUT ME AND HELLFIRE GET TO MAKE THE RULES!

Hellfire Guado: Yes... *grins evilly, revealing non-bloodstained fangs*

*AngelKnight and Hellfire Guado start making a weird list of rules*

AngelKnight: OK! Here are the rules!

1. You can use magic, lethal weapons, demonic transformations and cuteness to tag your opponents.

2. No "home" or "base" areas!

3. Insanity is not an excuse to stay out of the game, Vinnie,

4. Failure to comply with these rules will result in Hellfire Guado kicking your ass so bad you'll wish that death wasn't just inches away from your grasp, and instill permanent fear of everything and make you a shell of your former self.

Hellfire Guado: I'm gonna have some fun.

AngelKnight: yep!

Vinnie: Darn..

**And so... the game's begin!**

Chibi-Auron: WAIT! 

G.S: Who's..

S.S: ..it?

Sephy: Oooh..

Hellfire Guado: You know with this many people, this is a game in itself..

AngelKnight: Well, great, how are we gonna figure out who's-

Two mysterious people: WAIT!!

*All look to see a woman in a lab coat and another goth wielding two shotguns running towards them*

Dr. Makoti: I'm Dr. Matoki Jean! Hiyah!

BloodProphicy: And I'm..well, my name is already there..

G.S: More people

S.S This is gonna get interesting.

Dr. Matoki: And we know the rules, so spare us the crap and let's play!

Vinnie: Fin-

Chibi-Auron: But you two..

Sephy: Are it!

Vinnie: *grumbles*

*Now that out two hunters are set, everyone is running like mad from Dr. Matoki and BloodProphicy!*

BloodProphicy: WHHHEEEE!! *starts chasing Chibi-Auron, attempting to shoot him*

Chibi-Auron: AAAAHHHHHH!! *hides behind a rock*

Seymour: Go find your own hiding place!

Chibi-Auron: Seymour?

Seymour: Yes. Now go away before we all get shot!

Chibi-Auron: But that's the fun in it!

Seymour: ... I hate you all.

BloodProphicy: I seeee you! *shoots both Seymour and Chibi-Auron*

Chibi-Auron: Darn..

Seymour: Chibi-Auron, we both got shot. With 2 shotguns. At close-range.

BloodProphicy: Dude.. you can't die..

Chibi-Auron: Anyway, this is a fanfic.

Seymour: .. Oh yeah!

BloodProphicy: OK, now we track down the three Sephys..

Chibi-Auron: *eyes widen* DON'T HURT MOMMY!

BloodProphicy: ... OK.. whatever..

***Now, to see how Dr. Makoti is doing***

Dr. Matoki: *has her eyes fixed on Vinnie* YOUR WILL IS MINE..

Vinnie: *stares back*

Dr. Matoki: ...

Vinnie: ...

Dr. Matoki: .. *blink*'

Vinnie: HAH! I win! You can't touch me for 10 seconds! *runs away*

Dr. Matoki: Immune to my possessing powers?? Interesting! *writes down something on a memo* NOW TO TRACK DOWN THE OTHERS!

**On the other side of the field, there are three houses, one made with straw, the other wood, and the last one brick**

BloodProphicy: *knocks on the door of the straw house* Little Sephy, little Sephy, let me in!

Sephy: Not by the hair of my heady head head!

BloodProphicy: Then I'll load, aim, and SHOOT YER FRIGGIN HOUSE DOWN!

*BloodProphicy shoots the poor house to oblivion*

Sephy: HAH! Missed me!

*WHACK!*

*Sephy gets whacked by Seymour's Rod thingy*

Seymour: MWAHAHAHAHAAA!

*To the next house*

Chibi-Auron: Golden Sephy, Silver Sephy, let me in!

G.S and S.S: Not by the hair on our heady head heads!

Chibi-Auron: Then I'll hack and I'll slash and I'll CUT mah way in!

*Chibi-Auron slashes the house into oblivion*

G.S and S.S: HAH! MISSED US!

*WHACK!*

*Both get whacked by BloodProphicy's shotguns*

Chibi-Auron: MOMMY! *whacks BloodProphicy with his Murasame*

BloodProphicy: OW!

Chibi-Auron: *shakes Golden Sephy* MOMMY! ARE YOU OK??

Sephy: .. Chibi-Auron is starting to scare me with the 'mommy' thing..

S.S: Ow.

G.S: I'm fine..

BloodProphicy: Hey.. if we got all the Sephys.. whose in the third house?

All: ...

Seymour: *knocks on door* Whoever you are, whatever you are, lemme in!

???: Not by the wood on me staffy staff staff!

Seymour: Then I'll yell and scream and MAGIC my way in!

*Seymour casts Ultima on the house, leaving it in a pile of rubble*

Corey: OK, you got me.

G.S: HEY! The author said there would be only 2 new people in this fic!

Corey: I got added on short notice

S.S: Oh...

**OK, now on to the rest of the team..**

Dr. Matoki: *is ready to use her new invention on Hellfire Guado*

Hellfire Guado: I can't believe I agreed to play this stupid game when I could be asking Seymour some damn questions! GRRRRRR...

Dr. Matoki: MWAHAHAHAHAAA! DIE!! *shoots something at Hellfire Guado*

*A Pikachu plushie flies out and smacks Hellfire on the head, then it starts burning*

Hellfire Guado: AAAHHHH!! THE FIELD IS ON FIRE!!

Dr. Matoki: A-Are you blaming me??

Hellfire Guado: ... Yes

Dr. Matoki: Hey, are ya related to Sweetooth by any chance?

Hellfire Guado: ... We're gonna be stuck in an inescapable ring of fire and instead of figuring out a way to save us YOU'RE ASKING ME IF I'M REALTED TO A DEMENTED CLOWN FROM TWISTED METAL???

Dr. Matoki: OK, I get yer point.. We need..water!

Hellfire Guado: No duh!

Dr. Matoki: Good thing I packed Materia! ^_^ I'm so smart!

Hellfire Guado: *rolls eyes*

Dr. Matoki: AHEM! ICE3! *waits*

*Materia is doing nothing*

Hellfire Guado: *rapidly losing sanity*

*Materia is still doing nothing*

Dr. Matoki: ... I musta ran out of MP!

Hellfire Guado: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

**not to far away..**

AngelKnight: Did you hear that, Vinnie?

Vinnie: ... yes?

AngelKnight: I think that was Hellfire!

Vinnie: ... and?

AngelKnight: We gotta save him!

Vinnie: OK! NEVA FEAR, VINNIE IS HERE! *takes out a Chocobo whistle*

*Vinnie summons a Blue Chocobo*

Chocobo: WARK!

AngelKnight: *mounts Chocobo* LET'S GO!

Vinnie: WAIT FOR-

*Chocobo speeds off towards direction of Fire*

Vinnie: ... me?

*Dr. Matoki looks over and sees AngelKnight coming to save them*

Dr. Matoki: AngelKnight! WE'RE SAVED!

Hellfire Guado: Good, cuz I'm ready to kill here..

AngelKnight: How the heck did you two get into THAT?

Hellfire Guado: Shut up and douse the fire!

AngelKnight: ... I don't have any Materia..

Hellfire Guado: Use magic

AngelKnight: Author doesn't know if I have water magic.

Hellfire Guado: DAMN YOU AUTHOR!

Chibilinnet: Then it would be easy and not funny!

Dr. Matoki: What about the psycho? Vincent?

Vinnie: MY NAME IS VINNIE!

Dr. Matoki: VINCENT! HELP US!

Vinnie: *ignores them*

AngelKnight: Vincent! Hurry! Douse the flames!

Vinnie: Hmph!

Hellfire Guado: VINCENT! USE THE DAMNED MATERIA BEFORE I RIP YER THROAT OUT!

Vinnie: LALALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

AngelKnight: .. Vinnie, can you 'please' save our friends from a fiery death?

Vinnie: I would if I had any MP left

Hellfire Guado: YOU TOO??

Vinnie: *grins stupidly*

Hellfire Guado: ... Vincent, if I die, I am SO taking you to hell with me.

Vinnie: MY NAME IS VINNIE!! VIIIINNNIIIEEE!! WHY WON'T PEOPLE CALL ME VINNIE?? V-I-N-N-I-E!!! VINNIE! THAT'S MY NAME! VINNIE!

Dr. Matoki: Aw, shut up, Vincent.

Hellfire Guado: Yeah, you brat!

Vinnie: I know a mage that can help you guys!

Hellfire Guado: Fine. Just get this damned fire out!

Vinnie: OKIE-DOKIE! *runs away*

Dr. Matoki: We're doomed, aren't we?

Hellfire Guado: 'Fraid so.

AngelKnight: I know who Vinnie is talking about, it's the new guy, I'll go get him, you guys chill out! *races to the other side of the field*

Dr. Matoki: ... I will so strangle her when she comes back..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fate of Hellfire Guado and Dr. Matoki rest in the hands of AngelKnight! As she strives to find Corey the Mage, god knows where Vinnie is, and the others are still in a state of confusion! Will anything good come out of this??

Probably not. Oh well.

Still accepting requests! Remember, if you don't like the way I portray you, tell me! You guys have been nice, saying the attitude can be whatever I want! Just let me know if ya don't like it!

And the character Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12, not me. Thanks!

-chibilinnet, who currently is very hungry.


	5. Ark Dragon's ShoppingPart One

****

CHAPTER FIVE: After playing Xtreme Tag, yer bound to get hungry...

Auron no Aijou suggested this one, so why not? Let us hope I can actually make it funny.. -_-"

Anyway, I have some more plaques to give out. Here is a PLAQUE OF PERMANENT MEMBERSHIP to Golden-Sephy and the title of being Chibi-Auron's mommy! And Silver Sephy is his uncle!

S.S: I am not!

We also give a PLAQUE OF PERMANENT MEMBERSHIP to BloodProphicy, who is also making a ficcy like this! It's funny, you should read ^_^

So anyway.. the Final fantasy characters belong to Square. And Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy, Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou, BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy, Dr. Matoki belongs to GeminiDeathStar, AngelKnight belongs to angelknight and Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12. One of the new people belong to Ark Dragon, the other Kate (vampirezombiegirl).

That was a LONG Disclaimer. Imagine when I get 20+ people. Then I'll have to split the groups. Oh well, as long as everyone gets a line! On with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(After going to the other side of the hill, AngelKnight sees Corey, Vinnie, Sephy, G.S and S.S, Chibi-Auron, BloodProphicy and Seymour in a certian arguement)

Vinnie: Cloud! You're back! You look different too!

Corey: I am NOT Cloud!

Seymour: You look like him.

Corey: I AM COREY!

Chibi-Auron: But only Cloud has gravity-defying hair!

Sephy: What about that weird kid who the author's friend likes?

S.S: What about Crono?

G.S: And the DragonBallZ Characters?

Corey: Yeah, anyway!

AngelKnight: Oh, so you're Crono?

Corey: I AM NOT CRONO OR CLOUD! I AM-

BloodProphicy: GOKU!

Corey: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Meanwhile, back to Dr. Matoki and Hellfire Guado*

Hellfire Guado: OK, so how are we gonna get out?

Dr. Matoki: We just wait until Vinnie or AngelKnight comes back!

Hellfire Guado: ...

Dr. Matoki: Yep, any minute now..

**2 hours later**

Hellfire Guado: Jean?

Dr. Matoki: Yeah?

Hellfire Guado: We're going to die here, aren't we?

Dr. Matoki: What the hell are they doing??

**Cut to the others**

Seymour: ...

AngelKnight: ...

Seymour: ...

AngelKnight: ...

Seymour: ...*blink*

AngelKnight: MWAHAHAHAHAAAA! I win again!

Seymour: ONE MORE ROUND!

AngelKnight: FINE! 

**Cut back to Hellfire and Dr. Matoki**

Dr. Matoki: Hellfire?

Hellfire Guado: Yeah?

Dr. Matoki: Since you're hair is on fire, aren't you impervious to fire?

Hellfire Guado: ... never thought of that..

*Hellfire Guado walks through the fire unscathed*

Dr. Matoki: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME??

Hellfire Guado: *jumps over the fire, grabs Dr. Matoki and jumps back*

Dr. Matoki: Why didn't you think of that before??

Hellfire Guado: Look, who's the brains here?

Dr. Matoki: Case in point. Let's go.

*Both wander over to the other, where Vinnie and Chibi-Auron are in a staring contest*

Vinnie: ...

Chibi-Auron: ...

Vinnie: ...

Chibi-Auron: ...

Vinnie: ...

Chibi-Auron: *ear twitches* ...

Vinnie: .. *blink*

Chibi-Auron: WAH-HEY! I win again! *does a victory twirl*

Dr. Matoki: AHEM!

All: *stare at both Dr. Matoki and Hellfire*

Hellfire Guado: We're hungry

G.S: That reminds me.. did anyone pack lunch?

All: ...

BloodProphicy: ... well, this is great..

Corey: Starving to death.. fffuuunn..

Chibi-Auron: WE'RE GONNA STARVE!! *clings on to G.S* I DON'T WANNA DIE, MOMMY!!

G.S: *huggles Chibi-Auron* It's OK! ^_^

Seymour: .. soo.. what are we gonna eat?

Vinnie: I want blooood..

All: *inch away from Vinnie*

Black Mist: *lingering behind Vinnie*

Vinnie: What? What did I say??

*poke*

Vinnie: AAAHHHH! 

???: HEHEHEHEEEE! *huggles Sephy*

Sephy: ???

VampireZombieGirl (VZG): HELLO!!

Chibi-Auron: MORE INSANITY!!

Corey: Yay!!

G.S: Awwww.. my little Aurrie is growing so fast.. *sniff*

S.S: Sis, I think yer getting obsessed with this mommy thing..

G.S: Oh be quiet, that is your nephew you're talking about!!

S.S: ...

VZG: *pokes Vinnie some more*

Vinnie: Ow

Dr. Matoki: Oooh.. what's in the backpack? 

Seymour: Is it food?

VZG: NO! It's Chibi-Shuopin! He don't say much, but he got a gun!!

Vinnie: *looks at VZG* Vinnie in looove...

Hellfire Guado: ... So, a week after Lucrecia dumps you, you have the hots for a new chick?

AngelKnight: That's just sad..

Vinnie: *flinches at the name Lucrecia*

Dr. Matoki: Lucrecia

Vinnie: *flinch*

Dr. Matoki: Lucrecia!

Vinnie: *flinch*

Corey: Hey! Be nice to Vinnie!

BloodProphicy: Are we ever nice to Vinnie?

Chibi-Auron: ... no?

Vinnie: *sniff*

Sephy: It's fun picking on Vinnie! Hey! I got a line! WHOO-HOO!

VZG: Anyway, where are the munchies??

All: ...

Hellfire Guado: We don't have any..

VZG: WHHHAAA??

Chibi-Auron: It's true..

Sephy: I don't want to starve to death!!

Seymour: shut up..

AngelKnight: Hey, let's eat Vinnie's chocobo!

Chocobo: KWEHHHH!!!

Vinnie: NOOO! *huggles his Chocobo* I love my Chocobo!

S.S: BUT WE'RE HUNGRY!

Dr. Matoki: Yeah, anyway!

BloodProphicy: *takes out dual shotguns* Mmmm.. Kentucky Fried Chocobo..

Vinnie: *gets on Chocobo* C'MON, SCHALA, RUUUUN!!

*Vinnie and Chocobo speed off*

Corey: Did he call that Chocobo Schala?

Hellfire Guado: Lookie here, it DOES have a name!

Sephy: Now what do we eat?

Chibi-Auron: .. Let's chase after it! It can't be that fast!

All: YEAH!

*And so, they race after the Chocobo, but then, 5 minutes later, they see Vinnie staring at some cabin in the distance*

Vinnie: *jumping up and down like an idiot* WE'RE SAVED!! WE'RE SAVED!! WE'RE SAVED!

G.S: Wonder if there's any food in there..?

S.S: Let's raid the place!

All: YEAH!!

*Upon entering the cabin, they see.. A TABLE FILLED WITH GOURMET FOODS! Turkey, pie, ice cream, Oreoes (what? Oreos are gourmet!), Vanilla Coke, regular Coke, and Doritos!*

Sephy: ...Damn

VZG: Foooood...

Corey: LET'S EAT!

*All are about to run towards the food, when a katana-weilding shadow steps out*

???: NO FOOD UNTIL YOU COMPLETE THE QUEST!

AngelKnight: WHAT??

Ark Dragon: I, Ark Dragon, made that feast, but you must pass the test!

BloodProphicy: .. what IS the test?

Ark Dragon: SOLVE THE HANGMAN PUZZLE!!

*Ark Dragon reveals a chalkboard with a hangman puzzle. Three letter word*

Dr. Matoki: ... O!

Ark Dragon: DAG! **writes 'O' on the middle dash*

Seymour: A..

Ark Dragon: NO! *draws a head*

Chibi-Auron: T?

Ark Dragon: NOPE! *draws a line for the body*

Corey: H!

Ark Dragon: *draws an arm* Nope..

S.S: L!

Ark Dragon: *draws another arm* Nope..

Sephy: U-Um...Q?

Ark Dragon: *laughs demonically* NOOOO! *draws a leg*

Vinnie: *gulps* ... W?

Ark Dragon: CURSES! *writes W on the last dash*

Hellfire Guado: This is too freaking easy! C!

Ark Dragon: NOOO! MWAHAHAHAAA! The word was Cow! 

*Ark Dragon writes a K on the first dash*

Ark Dragon: K-O-W! Kow!

All: *sweatdrop*

Ark Dragon: *laughs* Naw, I'm not that stupid, I was just playing with you.

All: *whew*

Ark Dragon: BUT NEVERTHELESS, YOU FAILED!!

Chibi-Auron: SHIT!

G.S: *Gasp!* CHIBI-AURON! Where did you learn that language!!

Chibi-Auron: *points to Seymour*

G.S: *glares at Seymour*

Seymour: W-what??

G.S: *grabs Seymour by the neck* NEVER SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF AURON AGAIN!

Seymour: O..O..k...

Ark Dragon: AAAAHHHEEEMMM!! Anyway, I need you all to do a task for me!

VZG: We'll probably have to find some stupid secret 'magical' object in the middle of nowhere..

Ark Dragon: NO! You must.. go shopping! 

BloodProphicy: ARRRGGHHH!! DIIIIEEEE!! *shoots Ark Dragon*

Ark Dragon: .. no one can die in this fic, dumbass!

Sephy: Calm down, Blood!

BloodProphicy: *hiss....*

Ark Dragon: *gives Chibi-Auron the list of food items* Buy those and bring them back to me!

Chibi-Auron: Uuuh... OK..

**AT OUR LOCAL WALMART SUPER CENTER!**

Chibi-Auron: OK.. first he wants.. Box of Cheerios..

Hellfire Guado: Dude, there's only one left..

VZG: And someone is gonna get it!

(Imagine all this in slow motion to make it funnier)

Person with cart: Chhhheeeerrriiiooosss!! *makes a lunge for the Cheerios*

Chibi-Auron: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *dives for the Cheerios*

*Both are hanging in mid-air, inches away from the last Cheerio box, when a little kid walks up and grabs it*

Little Kid: Look, Mommy! It was the last one!!

Chibi-Auron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *crashes headfirst into the person with cart and falls on the floor*

Seymour: Whoop-de-friggin-do! We lost it to a 5-year-old!

Sephy: Oh well..

Corey: *mouth full of Cheerios* Well, thast's doo bad!

All: *glare at Corey, who has a box of Cheerios in his hand*

Corey: ... what?

G.S: Cheerios. Now.

Corey: NEVER! *runs away, laughing like a maniac*

Hellfire Guado: ARGH! FIRST VINNIE AND THE DAMN CHOCOBO-

Vinnie: HER NAME IS SCHALA!

Hellfire Guado: NOW COREY AND THE DAMN CHEERIOS!

Corey: His name is Bob!

Dr. Matoki: ... you named the Cheerios?

Corey: YES! We've been together for so long..

**Flashback to 5 minutes ago..**

Corey: Hey! 2 more Cheerios boxes left! *grabs one and starts eating*

**End Flashback**

Corey: Endured so many hardships..

**Again, 5 minutes ago..**

Corey: AAAAHHHHH!! SOMEONE TOOK THE WHISTLE FROM THE BOOOOX!!

**OK..**

Sephy: *sniff* Can we be so cruel to seperate Corey from his dear friend, Bob?

AngelKnight: Well.. he DID name the box..

S.S: And they've been together for.. 5 minutes!

G.S: That's a looong time..

Hellfire Guado: *sniff* I'm touched..

Chibi-Auron: ... I'M SOWWIE, BOB! *huggles Corey and the Cheerio Box*

BloodProphicy: GROUP HUGGLE!

*The whole group huggles*

Vinnie: What now..?

VZG: Hey! He didn't specify what KIND of Cheerios.. right?

Chibi-Auron: ... No..

Dr. Matoki: *throws Apple Cinnamon Cheerios in the cary* OK, let's go!

Seymour: What's next..?

G.S: Box of Itz...sa..koo..wha?

S.S: Itsakadoobie?

VZG: Naw, Itzakasoobie!

Vinnie: Itzadadoozie!

AngelKnight: No.. Itzakadoozie!!

Chibi-Auron: What the hell is this anyway??

Sephy: Sounds like a video game...

Dr. Matoki: Time to put my latest invention to work! The ITEMDEX™!!

BloodProphicy: That's a gay name!

Dr. Matoki: Shut up! *types Itzakadoozie in the Itemdex™*

Itemdex™: ITZAKADOOZIE: Type of Popsicle, with lemon, lime, and some other flavors that the author forgot about because she only has the fudge kind.

Corey: .. That thing is screwed up.

Dr. Matoki: NO! The Itemdex™ never lies!

VZG: Yeah, and Vinnie is a Pokémon!

Vinnie: I am??

Hellfire Guado: Your stupid enough to be one..

Vinnie: Thank you! ^_^

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Heheheheee!

Vinnie: SHE TOUCHED ME!! I'll never wash this arm again..

Chibi-Auron: Vinnie.. do you EVER wash your claw arm?

Vinnie: No.. It'll rust!!

Dr. Matoki: Don't be silly, Vinnie, gold doesn't rust! You should wash it, it'll be shiny!

Vinnie: *grabs some Windex and rubs his claw arm* Like this? 

*Claw arm now is REALLY SHINY*

Chibi-Auron: ...Shiny..

Vinnie: *moves the arm to his right*

Everyone: *eyes follow*

Vinnie: ...

Sephy: Shhhiiiinnnyyy...

Vinnie: ... *moves arm to the left*

G.S: Shiny...

Vinnie: *walks around*

Everyone: *follows Vinnie, keeping their eyes on the claw*

Chibilinnet: shiiiny..

Vinnie: Wow, I even got the author!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh no! Now that Vinnie shined up his claw arm, he's got everyone, even me, in a trance! Anyway, sorry is dis chapter ish short, I just made it to Zeal in Chrono Trigger (got the Epoch, SHEEE-YAH!) and I 'm stuck on Mt. Woe looking for Melchior ^_^()

Anyway, suggestions are welcome, and I think I'm losing my touch. What do you think? :( I'm afraid it's just not that funny anymore without having to revert to total random insanity..


	6. There's no part 2, cuz we got a crisis h...

****

CHAPTER SIX: WHAT THE LIVING HECK IS THAT??

Shiiiiiinnneyyyy... no, must regain composure, for I..am..the..AUTHOR!! OK, everyone got out of their 'shiny' trance, and they are ready to figure out what those damn Itzakadoozies are! 

Oh yes, and there's A WHOLE LOTTA SEYMOUR BASHING in this chapter, fans of Seymour be warned. This chapter is dedicated to BloodProphicy, who requested Seymour bashing in the first place. Hope ya all like it ~.^

Anywaaaay... here is the extremly long DISCLAIMER!:

The Final Fantasy characters, I do not own. Square owns them, those lucky SOBs.. 

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Dr. Matoki belongs to GeminiDeathStar

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG (vampirezombiegirl) belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

The new kid belongs to The Great Kaizer Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

chibilinnet, I dunno who really owns that, the name was made up by my friend, but I sorta made the character..

And I don't own Itzakadoozies (I did not make that up) and Cheerios. 

OK! ON WITH THE FICCY:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vinnie: *is entranced by his own arm* Shhhiiinnneeyy..

Dr. Matoki: OK, OK, let's head to the Ice Cream section and get them.. Itzawhatevers..

Seymour: Hell no! I dun trust that screwy Itemdex™ thingy of yours!

Dr. Matoki: YOU DOUBT ME?? *glares at Seymour*

Seymour: *in monotone* No, of course not, great Dr. Matoki..

Dr. Matoki: Good. Now go smack yourself into a wall.

Seymour: *smacks himself into a wall*

BloodProphicy: HEHEHEHEEE! Lemme try! Seymour, jump off a cliff that has pointy rocks at the bottom!

Seymour: *runs to a cliff with pointy rocks on the bottom and jumps* SPLAT!

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAAA! Now, hit yourself in the crotch!

Seymour: *hits himself where the sun don't shine* AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!! Seymour, stand in the middle of the street jump-roping with your spinal cord!

Chibi-Auron: EEEEEWWW!!

G.S: Too much violence! *covers Chibi-Auron's eyes*

Seymour: *pulls out his spinal cord, walks to the middle of the street, and starts jump-roping, only to be run over by a 16-wheeler truck*

BloodProphicy: *Rolling on the floor laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! STUPID SEYMOUR!!

Hellfire Guado: I take it he's not very fond of Seymour..

Seymour: Oh, what clued you in? The fact he shot me? Or how about taking advantage of my mind-controlled state?? HUH??

BloodProphicy: Oh, shut up! *shoots Seymour multiple times*

Seymour: Ow.

Vinnie: Ok, I think that's enough Seymour bashing...

BloodProphicy: You can never have too much Seymour bashing.. *smacks Seymour again*

Chibi-Auron: Mommy, is the violence over yet?

VZG: Nope! *starts poking Vinnie to death*

Vinnie: OW! OW! OW!

VZG: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! :)

AngelKnight: OK, now it's over..

???: or IS it?

All: Hu?

Raven: Hewwo! *smiles and waves*

Corey: OMG, IT'S ANOTHER VINNIE!! *hides behind Bob*

Bob: ... (dumbass)

Raven: No! Me RAVEN!

Vinnie: Yeah, he has premature greyness!

Raven: .. *sniff* WAAAAAAAHHHH!!

VZG: Vinnie! You made the poor Chibi cry! *pokes Vinnie uncontrollably*

Vinnie: owowowowowowowowowowow....

Raven: *is about to blow Vinnie up, but for some reason it hits Seymour*

Seymour: PAIN! AGONY!

BloodProphicy: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Sephy: Stop messing with the story, Blood!

S.S: Yeah, no one can hate Seymour THAT bad..

Chibi-Auron: *who still has his eyes covered* Actually, one can, considering he is only playable once! Mommy, can I see now?

G.S: *removes hand from eyes* *glares at the others* NO VIOLENCE WHEN AURON IS AROUND!

Seymour: ... *pokes Vinnie*

G.S: KILL!! *hacks and slashes Seymour*

Seymour: X_x

BloodProphicy: YAY!

Hellfire Guado: .. so, are we gonna spend the whole chapter poking Vinnie and killing Seymour?

Corey: We still need to find those Itzakadoozies..

AngelKnight: I think it's a kind of video game..

Dr. Matoki: NO! The Itemdex™ never lies! It's a popsicle!

S.S: That's dumb!! Why would someone name a stupid popsicle Itzakadoozie??

Sephy: .. There's a sublinimal message inside.. I know it..

Raven: It sounds like a video game to me!

Chibi-Auron: I trust Raven! Chibi instinct, ya know!

Raven: Yep! ^_^

AngelKnight: Yeah, Chibis are always right. Let's listen to them.

Vinnie: Ok! *gets poked by VZG* Ow

VZG: Mwehehehehheeee! *huggles Sephy*

Sephy: ^_^

Corey: It sounds like a brand of clothing..

VZG: Yeah, I agree with Corey..

Corey: What do you think, Bob?

Bob: ...

Corey: BOB! *smacks the Cheerio box with his MACE OF ZEUS!* That was a dirty thing to say!

All: O_o

Hellfire Guado: OK.. Half of us will search the clothes area and YOU GUYS can search the electronics department, only for it to be in vain!

G.S: FINE!

*So Hellfire Guado, BloodProphicy, Sephy, Seymour, Corey and Bob, and VampireZombieGirl went to the pantries to search for the Itzakadoozies, while AngelKnight, Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy, Chibi-Auron, Raven and Vinnie went to the freezers. Dr. Matoki went to search the freezers, as we all know, the Itemdex™ never lies!*

*Meanwhile, somewhere in the entrance of Walmart*

Ark Dragon: *bangs on desk* HELLO?? Uhh.. *looks at store employees name tag* Umm.. Serge.. have you seen a weird group of people? 

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Yeah, the leader is a kid with kitten ears and a tail, have ya seen em?

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Ask who?

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Crono? Oh, OK, I'll go..

*Ark Dragon walks over to another employee stacking Itzakadoozies in the freezer*

Ark Dragon: You Crono?

Crono: ...

Ark Dragon: Have you seen a weird group of people?

Crono: ..?

Ark Dragon: Yeah, they have Sephy triplets!

Crono: ...

Ark Dragon: Oh alright, I'll ask security..

*Ark Dragon walks over to the security booth, where Issac is sitting*

Ark Dragon: Can I look in your cameras?

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: Hey, thanks! *takes a mint out of a nearby jar*

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: But the mint looks so pretty.. how can I eat it?

Issac: !!!

Ark Dragon: Oh, yeah, that's them! Thanks Issac!

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: Yeah, I wonder why chibilinnet won't make you guys talk either.

Issac: *shakes fist angrily at chibilinnet*

Chibilinnet: SOCIAL CONTACT! IT BURNS!! *starts rolling on the floor convulsing*

Ark Dragon: O_o... OK..

*by chibilinnet's last power, Ark Dragon is sent to the others before she completly snaps*

Raven: *shaking*ILIKEEGGSILIKEEGGSLIKEEGGS!!

Vinnie: *also shaking* ILIKESHINYSTUFFILIKESHINYSTUFFILIKESHINYSTUFF!!

Seymour: *bleeding in a corner* ... ow

Chibi-Auron: Yuuumm.. sugar.. O_O *disappears*

G.S: WWWHHHAAAAATT?? AURON! WHERE? WHAT? *freaks out*

Corey: Hey.. where did Auron go..?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* How strange..

S.S: Guys, this is serious, Chibi-Auron is the main character, and my sis is really freaking out..

*Golden-Sephy is looking in soda bottles screaming "AURRIE, WHERE DID YOU GO??"*

Dr. Matoki: *stares at G.S* CALM DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP!

G.S: *in a trance* ...zzzzz...

AngelKnight: What could cause this? 

G.S: *wakes up* AURRIE!! I CAN'T SLEEP, HE'S MISSING!! *gets out Masamune and jumps on Schala* DON'T WORRY, AURRIE, MOMMY IS COMING!!

*G.S charges off-screen looking for Chibi-Auron*

Sephy: ... Wow.. I wished my mommy cared that much about me..

Vinnie: *stops shaking* LUCRECIA! WHY?? *starts shaking again* IlikeshinythingsIlikeshinythings..

BloodProphicy: *still kicking Seymour* Maybe it's something to do with the Author, ya know, she controls the fic..

Seymour: STOP THE PAIN!! STOP THE PAIN!!

BloodProphicy: *shoots Seymour again* Aw, shut up, this is fun!!

Hellfire Guado: YO! CHIBILINNET! WAS UP WITH AURON??

Ark Dragon: I am afraid she cannot hear you..MWAHAHAHAHAAAA *cough choke* HAHAHAHAHAAAA!

AngelKnight: Why not?

Ark Dragon: She is not writing this fic anymore..

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* HUH?? But who's writing the fic, I mean, we're still here!

*Somewhere in Lancaster, PA*

Kaz: Erm.. Kidd, is she awake yet??

Chibilinnet: no..more..people..

Kidd: OI!! SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP, KAZUYA, I'M TRYING TO WRITE THIS DAMNED FANFIC FOR LINNET!

Kaz: Oh, your so nice! How come everyone has to hate me?? 

Kidd: Cuz yer a dumbass. Now excuse me, I'm writing here! *clicks on save, but the screen doesn't move*

Kaz: .. I think it froze again..

Kidd: AAARRGGGHHHH!! UNFREEZE, YA STUPID COMPUTER, OR I'LL KICK YER ARSE SO HARD YA'LL KISS THE MOONS!

Kaz: Kidd, there's only one moon..

Kidd: Yer point, Mr. Everyone-hates-me Mishima??

Kaz: .. *bangs desk on table* Why did Linnet's mom drag her to that party??

Kidd: beats me, now shut up.. OMG KAZ, YOU MADE ME WRITE OUT OUR WHOLE CONVERSATION!! *grabs dagger* I'M GONNA KILL YA!

Kaz: *backs away nervously* C-calm down Kidd... AAAAHHHHHHH!! 

Chibilinnet: *staring blankly at the celing* people..make..talk..scare..

**back to walmart**

Ark Dragon: .. um.. yeah.. *starts dancing around*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Dr. Matoki, do ya know what's wrong with chibilinnet?

Dr. Matoki: It seems she has suffered from extreme social contact.. she went to a party and had to sleep over at her friends house and had to endure some other people in the morning.. both were not by choice..

Vinnie: GET TO THA POINT!

Dr. Matoki: AHEM! Anyway, it seems chibilinnet is in a comatose state and Kazuya and Kidd are forced to look after her and write the fanfic in the meantime..

S.S: That's all great and stuff, but where did Chibi-Auron and G.S go??

Dr. Matoki: *sighs* The main character cannot be present unless the author is writing! We must cure the author or Chibi-Auron will never be seen again! And Golden-Sephy is bound to be exploring the storyline until she finds him, which will be never!

Seymour: .. Wow, what a nerd..

Dr. Matoki: *kicks Seymour between the legs* 

Seymour: AAAAHHHHHHH!!

Kidd: I always wanted to do that!!

Kaz: Kidd, stop writing us in the story!!

Kidd: Sorry, mate..

Kaz: M-mate?? Umm..

Kidd: OI, YOU DUMBASS, MATE MEANS FRIEND IN AUSTRALIA!!

Kaz: Speak proper English then, baka!

Kidd: ..the hell is that?

Kaz: .. nothing..

Raven: Uh, anyway, what can cure chibilinnet..?

Sephy: Linnet likes Chrono Cross lots!

All: ...

VZG: *pokes Vinnie and does a victory pose* WELL THEN, WE'LL HAVE TO SEEK OUT A CHRONO CROSS COPY AND SAVE LINNET!

All: YEAH!!

Seymour: .. ppaaaiinn..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oi! I hoped ya liked that, being the writer ain't so fun.. bugger, Kaz, quit hoggin the chair-ACK!!

YAY!! I'm on the computer! Now I can play all of chibilinnet's illegal ROMs.. hehehehe.. oops.

Nice going, dumbass, now she'a gonna get busted! I'VE HAD IT UP TA HERE WITH YA!

OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!! THAT WAS MY ARRRRRRRMMMMMM!!

social..contact..not..good... 


	7. Thanks a lot, Rufus, yer worse than Seym...

****

CHAPTER SEVEN: Uhh... what should I name this thing anyway..?

Kidd still here, and Kaz is still nursing his bleeding arm. Looks like he won't be typing fer awhile. Which is good.

ANYWAY, the way chibilinnet writes this thin', it seems I'm supposed to announce new characters n' stuff. BUT I'M TOO FREAKING CONFUSED!

But here's everyone's favorite disclaimer! Oi, I'm gettin' sick of these things and I only wrote one! An' the idea for the 'being stuck in the desert thing' came from angelknight, who asked for it awhile ago but Linnet had the shopping storyline to complete.

First off, me and Kaz here belong to Square and Namco, respectively. That was a bloodly long word!

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

So, on wit' the stupid ficcy thingy..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Yay! I'm not stuck in the victory pose anymore!

Vinnie: Must you always poke me when you talk?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* yep!

AngelKnight: Oi! We gotta.. Oi?? OI?? WE GOTTA SAVE CHIBILINNET OR WE'LL BE SPEAKIN' AUSTRALIAN FOREVER!!

Ark Dragon: *stops dancing* NOOOOOO!!

Kaz: ... wtf??

Kidd: MWAHAHAHAAAA! WITH MY NEW AUTHOR POWERS, KAZ MUST BE IN THE FIC!

Kaz: It means more lines for you.

Kidd: .. good point.. *sends Kaz back*

Kaz: MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!! *trips and falls* ow.

Hellfire Guado: Ummm.. right.. so where do we start?

BloodProphicy: *is jump-roping with Seymour's spinal cord* I dunno..

Seymour: Blood.. can..I..have..that..bac-OW!

*BloodProphicy smacks Seymour with the spinal cord before dropping it*

S.S: Give Seymour a break, he's suffered more mental abuse than chibilinnet already!

*In chibilinnet's mind..somewhere in the long-term memory bank labeled: BAD MOMENTS!*

Mom: Linnet, why don't you talk to the guests?

Linnet's mind: _I never wanted to stay here! I just wanted to stay home with Aurrie and-.. why are they staring at me?? Am I THAT ugly?? I don't wanna be here! I wanna go home! STOP STARING AT ME!! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT??_

Linnet: WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?? *runs out the door screaming and yelling: "THEY'RE STARING AT ME!!"* 

*back to Walmart*

Dr. Matoki: ... yeah..

Corey: Let's ask Bob! *holds up the Cheerio box* Bob, can you tell us where a Chrono Cross copy can be found?

*Bob stays there for a moments, then tips over to the left*

Corey: BOB?? BOB?? OH, GOD NO!! *scoops up the box and tries to put the Cheerios back in* WHY, BOB?? WWWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYY??

Sephy: *walks over to the left and finds a brand-new Chrono Cross copy hidden in a bunch of towels*

Ark Dragon: HEEEEEY! Sephy found it!

Corey: *glares at the Chrono Cross game* BOB DIED TO LEAD US TO YA! WHAT DO YA HAVE TO SAY, HUH?? MURDERER!!

*Corey is about to charge over to Sephy, but the others hold him back*

Seymour: *still trying to fit his spinal cord back in* I'm sure.. ow... when we cure Linnet.. pain.. she can revive Bob..OOOWWWW!! IT BROKE!!

BloodProphicy: Mwahahahahahaaa..

Vinnie: Why can't Kidd do it? She gots author powers too..

AngelKnight: Only the one who created Bob can revive him. That is chibilinnet.

Dr. Matoki: This is getting stupid, let's just pay for it and go..

Raven: I know a way we can get it for free! Hey, I got a line!

Sephy: *claps*

Hellfire Guado: How..?

*Raven grins and blows up Walmart, leaving the group in the middle of the ruins all smoked and charred*

Ark Dragon: Oh, that was smart, Raven, like, really smart..

Raven: I know! *twirls the Kageyari (a spear) in a little victory pose* O_o

Sephy: what?

Raven: I'm stuck..

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* It's yet another author-absence glitch. If you do a victory pose, yer stuck in it fer the next chapter!

Raven: *sniffs* Why me..

Vinnie: STOP POKING ME! *breaks down and cries*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie in a different spot*

Vinnie: Oh, OK, now it doesn't hurt anymore!

Kidd: hehehehe.. that doesn't sound right..

Kaz: EW! KIDD!

Kidd: Have you noticed you and me are acting stranger than usual?

Kaz: of course, Kidd, this is a humour fic, we're allowed to.. OOOOH! DOUGHNUTS! *chomps on one and jelly bursts out of the other side*

Kidd: .. you know, you're really luck that doughnut is round or I would have some disturbing thoughts..

Kaz: Kidd, shut up and write the fic, the readers are getting mad! *points to the readers*

Kidd: What readers?

*Reader seats are empty*

Kaz: .. oh shut up and write..

*back to the charred remains of Walmart!*

Sephy: *playing Monster Rancher Advance* Fuuuuun...

Hellfire Guado: *shakes head in disgust*

AngelKnight: Yo, Hellfire, where did ya get that scar anyway?

Hellfire Guado: .. Surfing accident.

All: ???

Ark Dragon: Since when did YOU surf??

Hellfire Guado: It all started on the beaches of Besaid..

*flashback to Besaid Beach (or just think of a beach if ya never played FFX, like me, Kidd), where a younger Hellfire Guado is standing on it, looking at the waves with a black surfboard with a flaming skull on it.)

Young HG: YEAH MAN! THE BEACH IS MINE! WHOO-HOO! 

*Young HG runs to the water and catches a wave. All seems fine, until just when he is about to pull a flip..*

Young HG: Hu? Whazzat..? Voices.. in my head...?

*Young HG clutches his head in pain*

Young HG: AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! THE VOICESSSS!! TTTTTHHHHHHHEEEE VVVOOOOO-

*Young HG falls into the water and smashes his face into a sharp rock*

*back to Walmart*

Hellfire Guado: .. And that is this fanfic's version of the story..

Sephy: Eh?

Hellfire Guado: Well, only Auron no Aijou really knows how I got the scar, I am merely guest-starring in this fic.

AngelKnight: ... How interesting...

Dr. Matoki: Anyway, we gotta get this copy of Chrono Cross to Linnet, fast! I'm not sure Kidd can fend Kaz off from the computer much longer and god knows what he'll do if he gains control of the fic!

Kaz: HEY!

Vinnie: Wha?

Kaz: Why am I the evil one here?

Raven: Cuz.. that's the way Final Fantasy goes..

Corey: ... ya have a problem in the beginning, and then you have bigger and bigger problems as you progress, until you reach the point where the WHOLE DAMN THING ACTUALLY FALLS INTO PLACE!

S.S: Ehh... what was the original problem..?

Kidd: Oi, I... I forgot..

BloodProphicy: ERGH! It's worse than I thought!! WE GOTTA GIVE IT TO HER, NOW!

Seymour: How are we gonna get there?

Everyone: *stops and stares*

Seymour: Well.. how can we go from the fanfiction world to the author's mind?

Everyone: ...

BloodProphicy: Good GOD, Seymour, do you have you ruin EVERYTHING?? *rips out Seymour's ribcage*

Seymour: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Yeesh, quit it with the Seymour bashing already! This is becoming torture!

Everyone but Blood: Yeah!

BloodProphicy: But it's fun..

AngelKnight: Hey! Since the author likes Chrono Cross so much, why can't we go to a beach abnd try to switch dimensions?

Dr. Matoki: .. Why not?

*Meanwhile, somwhere in a very cold, polluted place..*

G.S: I'm sure Aurrie must be in this part of the storyline! *dismounts Schala* You be good, OK?

Schala: WARK!

G.S: Noooow.. where could Auron beee??

???: SEPHIROTH!

G.S: Hu?

???: S-Sephiroth.. I thought we killed you??

G.S: We? But there's only one of you..

???: Uhhh... that's not the point! Tried to fake a hair dye so ya could sneak in, HUH??

G.S: Ummm.. yeah.. whatever... Cloud... hey, did you see a little chibi here? He got a red coat and kitty ears, and a tail..

Cloud: What are you talking about??

Tifa: Cloud, what's going on? SEPHIROTH! HE'S BACK!

G.S: She.

Cloud & Tifa: Huh?

G.S: I am a she.

Cloud: .. B-but you're not a she! I remember back then in Nibelheim when I tumbled into the shower when you were in it mas-

Tifa: TMI, Cloud.

Cloud: Wha?

Tifa: TMI..

Cloud: What?

G.S: Yes, Cloud, TMI..

Cloud: Whazz... ah, forget it, I'm getting me a drink.. *mosey's over to the supposedly destroyed 7th Heaven*

Tifa: Yer not really Sephiroth, are you?

G.S: No, but my twin bro looks like him. The real Sephiroth is somewhere back in the storyline. Harmless and carefree..

Tifa: OK! ^_^

G.S: Anyway, I must resume my search for Aurrie! *mounts Schala and rips open another plot hole* SCHALA, AWAY!!

Schala: WARK!!

*Golden Sephy and Schala run through the plot hole, leaving Tifa there when Cloud staggers next to her, obviously drunk*

Cloud: Did I tell you the time I fell in the showers in Nibelheim when Seph was there mas-

Tifa: Cloud, shut up..

Cloud: .. then Seph asked me if I-

Tifa: Cloud, the fic has to be kept PG.

Cloud: argh.. PG fics suck! We need more NC-17 lemons of me and Seph! YYYEEEAAAHHHH!!

Tifa: ...

(_Kidd's note: Linnet, me, and I hope Kaz, do not actually like yaoi's at all, especially Cloud/Sephs. Seph/Aeris all the way, man! But that's just out humble opinion, we ain't saying yaois are bad or nuthin')_

*At some weird beach that has no name*

Corey: Ya sure this will work?

VZG: of course! *pokes Vinnie*

Vinnie: Ow.

BloodProphicy: Well, hurry up and revive the damned author!!

Kidd: Oi! She ain't dead ya know!

Kaz: Of course not. She's in her room playing Final Fantasy 7, hence the appearence of Midgar, Cloud and Tifa..

Kidd: WHAT??

Linnet: Mmmm... Rufus is such a hottie.. *drools*

*The whole group, including Kidd and Kaz, barge in, looking very mad*

Linnet: Ummmm... hi?

Chibi-Auron: ... write..

S.S: Hey, Chibi-Auron came back!

G.S: *comes out of a plot hole* AURRIE!! I FOUND YOU! *huggles him*

Chibi-Auron: MOMMY!! ME MISSED YOU!!

Vinnie: SCHALA! YOU CAME BACK! *hugs Schala*

Schala: WARK!

Magus: Lucca! I love you!

Lucca: Magus! I love you too!

Linnet: Mwahahahahahaha.. ARGH!

*Linnet gets strapped on the chair and has her hands posistioned above the keyboard*

Kaz: Write.

Linnet: Fine, fine..

*Everyone is now teleported to their respective dimension/game*

Raven: I'm not stuck in my victory pose anymore! *does his victory dance*

*Suddenly, our heroes are now stuck in a...desert! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUNNNNN....*

Rufus: Hu?

Dr. Matoki: What are you doing here?

Chibi-Auron: Yeah, Rufus..

Rufus: U-um... I'm *mumble mumble*

AngelKnight: Speak up.

Rufus: Linnet forced me to be in the fic..

Hellfire Guado: GODDAMMIT, RUFUS, SPEAK UP, WE DON'T HAVE OUR GENES ALTERED LIKE THAT FREAK VINCENT!

Vinnie: *eyes water*

Rufus: LINNET FORCED ME INTO THE FIC!!!

BloodProphicy: Why? There are so many characters already..

Ark Dragon: I feel forgotten

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Yer not alone

G.S: With this amount of characters, it's hard to get a line.

Rufus: *grumbles*

Linnet: BUT I LIKE RUFUS! HE'S SO DAMN HOT!! *huggles Rufus*

Rufus: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FILTHY COMMONER!!

Linnet: *gasp* Rufus! That's just rude!

Rude: ...

Rufus: Oh, sorry Rude.

Rude: *walks out of fic*

Linnet: Anyway! Thanks to yer new pal Rufus, you gotta stay in htis desert until i figure out a comical way to let you out!

Corey: Does that mean Rufus is in for good?

*Rufus joined your party!*

*Name selection screen comes up*

Everyone: ...

Rufus: *cowering in fear*

Linnet: Hmmmmm.... I guess his name can stay..

Rufus: *whew*

AngelKnight: Soooo.. how do we get out..?

S.S: You should know, this was YER idea!

Chibi-Auron: Yeah, but mean Mr. Rufus made Linnet angry, so she locked us up in here cuz of *sob* him!!

G.S: *eye twtiches* Who...made...Aurrie..cry..

Everyone: *points to Rufus*

Rufus: ... *meep*

G.S: SSSSSSSHHHHHHHEEEEEEE-YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!! *leaps in the air and slices Rufus in half, but since this is a fanfic, no one dies*

Rufus: *falls and convulses on the ground* PAIN!!

Seymour: *trying to put his ribcage back in* Now you know how I fe-OW!

G.S: *huggles Auron*

Dr. Matoki: You know what this means, right?

Bob: ... Survivor style..

Corey: BOB! YOU CAME BACK! *huggles him*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YES! In every good adventure/parody fanfic/comic, there must be a Survivor-like sequence. It ain't original, but the plot will go on whether you vote or not. But if you want a certian character to be saved from humiliation, you can vote someone off. Even the main ones. 

And I did succumb to peer pressure, threw my little pride, and bought FF7. The graphics hurt my eyes and give me headaches, but the story ain't bad.

And Rufus is hot. So is Reno, but I like Rufus better. Maybe it's that shotgun, or maybe he just didn't use an annoying Pyramid spell over and over..


	8. The Unescapable desert of DOOM! dundundu...

****

CHAPTER EIGHT: The 'Rufus is not a gay rapist' campaign!

A new character, Bob gets voted off at the start of the chapter, and Rufus suffers a mental breakdown! 

Also, this is the start of the "Rufus is not a gay rapist' campaign! So bring marshmallows and coke and watch while I try to convince people that Rufus is..well.. not a gay rapist!

And I like Auron no Aijou's website. Did you people see it? If you didn't, get yer ass over there and look at his fine work, and LIKE IT, DAMMIT! GO! GOOOOOO!!

(for you lazy-asses, here's the URL: http://members.lycos.co.uk/chibijanus/)

Now, stop reading, visit the URL, AT LEAST see the gif dance, then come back.

The long, copy-and-pasted disclaimer: 

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

The new character belongs to DreamHuntress!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Bob magically disappears*

Corey: BOB! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Rufus: What happened?

Dr. Matoki: Bob got voted off! Hahahahahaha!

Chibi-Auron: What a waste of good cheerios..

*A bowl of Cheerio appears in front of every character, complete with a color-changing plastic spoon*

Everyone: YAY!

Vinnie: Now I can lower my cholesterol!

*Everyone starts eating, except Corey, who is staring at the cereal in front of him*

Corey: ... Bob... *sniff* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! *cries on Rufus's shoulder*

Rufus: *pats Corey on the back* It's ok...

Corey: *suddenly pulls away, alarmed* WAIT! I know you.. YOU RAPED RENO!

All: *gasp!*

Rufus: I didn't rape Reno! I'm not gay!

Hellfire Guado: Yes you are! Don't deny it, Rufus!

Rufus: B-but I'm n-not..

AngelKnight: EW! *scampers away from Rufus*

Rufus: But I didn't..

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* You rape little boys too, don't cha?

G.S: YOU STAY AWAY FROM AURRIE! *hugs Auron protectively*

S.S: Yeah, stay away from my sister's son, rapist!

Rufus: ... *lips tremble* I'm not gay! I would never rape a child!

Hellfire Guado: Nuh-uh! I'm protecting mah Lil' bro! Stay away!

Ark Dragon: Yeah, touch any of the chibis or us and you get it!

All: *walk as far as possible from Rufus*

Rufus: ... *starts to cry* I'm n-n-not gay! I n-never raped anyone! I'm s-s-still a fre-freaking virgin!

Sephy: Hey, Raven, is it true that Rufus also boinked Tseng?

Raven: BOINKED?? ... yes

Rufus: BUT I DIDN'T! STOP MAKING FUN OF ME, IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Seymour: HA! Now they'll stop saying I'm gay..

Rufus: SSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

*Everyone is alarmed, because they are the first group to see Rufus cry*

BloodProphicy: .. so, when do we see him bleed?

Rufus: *sniff* I-I'm not g-gay!! *snivel* Everyone k-k-keeps on s-saying that! *hic* But I'm not!! I'm not!! *breaks down and cries again* EVERYONE HATES ME!

Raven: .. Guys, I think we hurt his feelings..

AngelKnight: Maybe we overreacted..

Ark Dragon: Yeah.. it's not fair, y'know, maybe Rufs was telling the truth..?

Dr. Matoki: .. Hey, Rufus, we're sorry..

Rufus: ...

Chibi-Auron: Yeah, we didn't want to be mean, but those rumors, y'know..?

Rufus: ...

Seymour: ... Ruffy?

Rufus: you called me gay.. *sniff*

Vinnie: They didn't mean it, Rufs, they're just kidding!

Rufus: ... Really? *sniff*

Chibi-Auron: Really! *gives Rufus a hug*

All: awwwww..

Rufus: ^_^

Seymour: Too much kindness! *twitch* NEED...EVIL...

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHA! *is about to chop up Seymour but..*

???: STOP RIGHT THERE!

All: hu?

*during this sequence, all you CT players, play Frog's theme in your head, preferably the orchestrated version if you heard it*

???: I HAVE COME TO PROTECT SEYMOUR!!

*A mysterious girl flips down and does a little twirl thingy with her.. weapon, which she did not specify, so imagine something, and runs at Blood, grabs his shoulders and flips over his head and in front of Seymour. She turns and glares at the group*

DreamHuntress: That shit was cool, huh?

*OK, end Frog's theme*

Seymour: Yay! They're here!

Raven: Yup.

BloodProphicy: Huh?

Seymour: I filed a restraining order and I got 2 bodyguards! DreamHuntress and Raven!

Both: *nod*

BloodProphicy: .. Then who am I gonna torture?? *glares at Rufus*

Rufus: ... *waves*

Hellfire Guado: All stupidity aside, we have to find a way out of the desert..

Dr. Matoki: And whomever is booted off dies a horrible death, like Bob.

Corey: BOB!! WHY??

S.S: Hey, wait, if that is true, will we be kicked out of the fic?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* I hope not..

DreamHuntress: ... I dunno

(no, don't worry, you just won't be getting much lines, since yer 'dead')

Dr. Matoki: ANYWAY! I have just the thing to help us! My Desert map-thing™!!

S.S: Where do those ™s come from..?

AngelKnight: Oh, whatever, just get us out of here?

Dr. Matoki: *activates the Desert Map-thing™* Hmmm.. AAAAAAAHHHHHH!! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Seymour: WE'RE GONNA DIE! *clings on to Hellfire Guado*

Hellfire Guado: ... Don't tell me you're gay too??

Seymour: WHAT?? SHISU, GET HIM! *points to Hellfire*

*nothing happens*

Chibi-Auron: Wrong fic, Seymour.

Seymour: I'll have my revenge..

(note: Shisu, I believe, is a character in Auron no Aijou's fic Ask Seymour. I didn't make it up, he did, just to let you know. Sorry, Auron, but I just had to put that part in ^^;)

Dr. Matoki: It seems that this whole area is an endless desert..

Linnet: OF COURSE IT IS!

Ark Dragon: Hey, why'd ya have to put us in an endless desert anyway?

Corey: Yeah, you don't even know us!!

Linnet: BUT RUFUS DIED!

Rufus: ... I'm right here..

Linnet: MY POOR RUFFY DIED, AND I WANT TO WATCH YOU ALL SUFFER TO EASE MY PAIN!

Rufus: Linnet, I'm right here.

BloodProphicy: YA, THAT AIN'T FAIR! Besides, Rufus is..

Linnet: HE'S DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!

G.S: But he's in..

Linnet: IN HELL, BURNING FOR ALL OF ETERNITY, I KNOW, AND HE HAD SUCH A SHORT-LIFE!!

Chibi-Auron: Scary author lady, He's waving...

Linnet: I MISS YOU RUFFY! PLEASE COME BACK!

Rufus: ... Hi?

Linnet: *sniff* SO UNTIL I GET OVER IT (or until the Survivor sequence is over) YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT!

Sephy: That sucks..

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* I need more lines

Linnet: *stomps away, knocking down Rufus* OUTTA MAH WAY, PEASENT! I have to go to Ruffy's grave..

Rufus: ...

BloodProphicy: *shoots Rufus* THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! *pokes him with Raven's Kageyari* IF YOU JUST DIDN'T FREAKING DIE.. *pummels him in the head* WE WOULDN'T BE HERE, YA MORON!

Raven: GIMMIE MY SPEAR! *grabs the Kageyari and shoves it up Blood's bottom*

BloodProphicy: YEOWCH!! *gets out dual shotguns and transforms into a Chaos-like creature* DIE!!

*While Raven and BloodProphicy duke it out [imagine the most violent, twisted, blood-gore filled fight you have ever seen in your life], Rufus scrambles away covered in blood and sits next to Seymour*

Seymour: Morphine?

Rufus: *nods*

Seymour: *pours Rufus a glass and hands it to him*

G.S: Guys, if you're gonna get addicted to painkillers, don't do it in front of Auron. *covers Auron's eyes*

Chibi-Auron: What are they drinking, Mommy? Can I have some?

G.S: *deathglare at Rufus and Seymour*

Rufus: When you have your spleen cut in half, see if we give YOU any morphine!

Seymour: Yeah, anyway!

DreamHuntress: Seymour, you don't need morphine! *heals Seymour*

Seymour: YAY!

Rufus: What about me??

DreamHuntress: What about you?

Rufus: *pouts, and drinks more morphine*

Ark Dragon: Stop drinking morphine, Rufs, you're gonna get addicted.

S.S: We need to find a way out of here..

*Helicopter flies overhead, but everyone is too busy thinking (and fighting, and taking lethal doses of morphine) to notice)*

Vinnie: DAMN THAT HELICOPTER! *shoots it down*

AngelKnight: NOOOOOOOO!!

Vinnie: what?

Sephy: Dummy! We could've been able to fly away on that helicopter!

Vinnie: Oops.

Corey: KILL..

Hellfire Guado: Oh well, let's just play Survivor! Yay! Oh, I have an automatic immunity, so you can't vote me off.

BloodProphicy: me too

AngelKnight: Cheaters.

Corey: Bob.. *sniff*

Raven and BloodProphicy: *shuffles over to Rufus and sits down*

Rufus: Morphine?

Raven and Blood: *nods*

Ark Dragon: Dammit, stop talking about morphine!

Hellfire Guado: You guys are a bad influence for my little bro here! *pats Auron on the head*

Chibi-Auron: I have a big family! *purrs*

G.S: ^_^

S.S: I'm still not his uncle.

G.S: Of course you are.

S.S: -_-"

Corey: So um.. shouldn't we find a way outta here?

Dr. Matoki: But Linnet said that there is no exit, she'll take us out after she's done grieving over Rufus's death!

Rufus: But I'm alive..

Hellfire Guado: I didn't really like Rufs but.. he's not as bad as Vinnie.

Vinnie: HEY!

Rufus: Hello? Guys?

VZG *pokes Vinnie*: Yeah.. how old was the guy anyway? 21? He was so young..

Rufus: People, I'm not dead!

Chibi-Auron: Let's all get out of here, in memory of Rufus!

All: YEAH!

*Everyone but Rufus walks away in some random direction, until Rufus is all alone*

Rufus: ... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was a little short. but school just started (HIIIIIIIIIISSSSS!!) and I dun have much time do to stuff.. :( Anyway, 8th grade is looking boring and suck this year, with the exception of one thing:

Science Teacher: Sorry, kids, instead of dissecting stuff, we get to play with chemicals and fire.

Kids: YAY! *A few kids in the back clap*

I am serious, that is what she said. he, science will be fugue..

I have to go mourn Ruffy's death now.. *sniff*

Rufus: Hey! I'm not dead! Look! I'm alive! ALIVE! SEE?? I BLEED!! *slits his wrist* BLOOD! BLOOD!

Now you have seen Rufus Shinra cry and bleed. GO GET YOURSELF A COOKIE!


	9. The Mighy Conch shell speak'eth!

****

CHAPTER NINE: Linnet, you changed your mind again??

No survivor element anymore. We'll move the new storyline along and incorporate any new ideas. The main thing though, is getting everyone to the End of Time so they can go to a certian game dimension (hint: Golden-Sephy went there once). Also, due to popular demand, Bob, like Aeris, will not be revived. Not even in the end. he may name a ghostly cameo (like Aeris) but he's not coming back. Once again, like Aeris, he has fufilled his duty!

Corey: Which is..?

Me: Providing us all with a nutricous snack!

All: *cheer* WHOO! GO BOB!

So, here is the long copy and pasted disclaimer:

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

And I used the Al Bhed translator from **http://www.ffinsider.net**, it's good for all you people who want to write stuff in Al Bhed and not have to learn the language if you're in a hurry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corey: *is running around the desert* Bob?? BOOOOOOB??

Hellfire Guado: Dammit, Corey, he's dead! Like Rufus!

Rufus: I'm here! Alive! See?

AngelKnight: OMG, HE IS ALIVE! *huggles Rufs*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* YAY!!

Vinnie: Ow!!

Rufus: Morphine?

Vinnie: *nods and drinks*

Raven: Enough with the morphine jokes already!

BloodProphicy: *is about to shoot Seymour, but DreamHuntress steps in* 

DreamHuntress: ... ahem..

BloodProphicy: YOU SUCK! *shoots Rufus*

Rufus: Ow! *drinks more morphine* HAH! I AM INVINCIBLE TO PAIN!!

Dr. Matoki: .. So, where are we going now?

Sephy: I know! Let's ask.. THE MAGIC CONCH SHELL!

*Sephy holds up a conch shell with a pullstring attached on it*

Everyone: Ooooh, aaaaaaah..

Ark Dragon: Well, ask already!!

Chibi-Auron: *grabs conch shell* Oh, mighty conch shell, what shall we do?? *pulls string*

*Pause for dramatic effect*

Conch Shell: ... Nothing

All: THE CONCH HAS SPOKEN!

*Everyone sits there doing nothing*

**__**

2 hours later..

BloodProphicy: Hey, I'm hungry

AngelKnight: ...

BloodProphicy: *turns to G.S* Hey, G, I'm hungry

G.S: ...

BloodProphicy: Yeesh, all I want is some ^%$*ing food..

G.S: *jumps up and unsheaths the Masamune* WHAT WAS THAT I HEARD??

BloodProphicy: Uh, my sentence enhancers?

G.S: OK, but don't say them anyway! I don't like the sound of it!

BloodProphicy: Fine..

**__**

4 hours later...

Vinnie: zzzz...

VZG: I'm bored. *pokes Vinnie*

Dr. Matoki: We have to stay here and do nothing.

S.S: The great Conch shell will reward us, so quit talking!

**__**

6 hours later...

*Somewhere in the Al Bhed Home*

Rikku: _Rinno ib, kioc, dra cibbmo dnilg ec lusehk!_ (Hurry up, guys, the supply truck is coming!)

Random Guy #1: _Vehymmo! Vuut! Ur zuo!_ (Finally! Food! Oh joy!)

Random Guy #2: _Clnaf vuut, E fyhd dra bunhu sykywehac!!_ (Screw food, I want the porno magazines!!)

Random Guy #1: _Dra cibbmo dnilg ryt bunhu sykywehac?_ (The supply truck had porno magazines?)

Random Guy #2: _Oayr! Bmahdo uv dras, y mud ryt caqo beldinac uv Rikku!!_ (Yeah! Plenty of them, a lot had sexy pictures of Rikku!!)

Random Guy #1: _TYSSED! Fro fyc E hud ehvunsat uv drec?? _(DAMMIT! Why was I not informed of this??)

Rikku: _Fryd yna oui kioc dymgehk ypuid? E raynt so hysa!_ (What are you guys talking about? I heard my name!)

Random Guy #1: *evil grin* _Drec kio ujan rana ryc hygat beldinac uv oui_...(this guy over here has naked pictures of you...)

Rikku: _FRYD?? LUSA PYLG RANA, OUI MEDDMA CRED, E'MM GEMM OUI!_ (WHAT? COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT, I'LL KILL YOU!!)

Random Guy #2: _HHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! _(NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!)

*And near the trail to the Al Bhed Home...*

Guy driving supply truck: *singing* _Ed'c nyehehk sah! Rymmamizyr! _(It's raining men! Hallelujah!)

*The supply truck hits a bump, and due to the incredibly strong winds, the supply truck is blown to another part of the desert and the poor driver is dumped in a fire ant nest*

Guy driving supply truck: _Uf..._ (Ow...)

Fire ant leader: _Muug, sah! Y vnacr dycdo risyh!_ (look, men, a fresh tasty human!)

Fire ant: _Fro yna fa cbaygehk eh Al Bhed, cen? E druikrd fa duilrat aylr udran fedr uin vaamanc! _(Why are we speaking in Al Bhed, sir? I thought we touched each other with out feelers?)

Fire ant leader: _Aaaaf! E's hud kyo, yht fa'na eh y FFX vel, yht fa'na eh dra Sanubia Tacand, L'SUH! Huf, mad'c ayd dryd risyh!_ (Eeeew! I'm not gay, and we're in a FFX fic, and we're in the Sanubia Desert, C'MON! Now, let's eat that human!)

*Let's see where that supply truck went..*

*Supply truck lands in the middle of the circle our heroes made*

Raven: YAY!!

All: ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY CONCH!

*Everyone digs into the food there, and Hellfire and Ark found the porno magazines*

Hellfire Guado: Eew, they actually look at this crap?

Ark Dragon: *still staring* ... Yeah.

Hellfire Guado: *grabs magazines and burns them* Fire!

Ark Dragon: Oh, yeah, we need more heat!

Chibi-Auron: Actually, it gets dangerously cold during the night in a desert..

Ark Dragon: Maybe so, but is it night?

*Moon appears, sky is dark, it is cold and owls are hooting for unknown reasons*

Corey: *snickers*

Ark Dragon: Oh, is that Bob I see over there?

Corey: Bob?? WHERE?? BOOOOB!

*Corey runs off in some random direction, but he has his author-given shield to block out cold and fire ants*

Seymour: Yay! Campfire and a bunch of people! Ya known what this means?

Sephy: CAMPFIRE STORIES!!

All but Sephy and Seymour: *groan*

Seymour: C'mon, it'll be fun!

Rufus: ... One time, I caught Scarlet-

G.S: That's enough, Rufs.

Rufus: But I didn't even finish..

S.S: Anything with Scarlet is bound to be pornographic.

Rufus: .. good point.

Chibi-Auron: Yeah, there are chibis present!

Dr. Matoki: One time, I found a house, and it had a sprinkler..

All: *stare at Dr. Matoki*

Dr. Matoki: What? The sprinkler was gushing water, like, fifty feet high!

All: Ooooooh...

G.S: I met Spekkio once. While I was going through plot holes. I killed him with one hit.

Chibi-Auron: That's my mommy! *hugs*

All: Aaaaaaw...

Seymour: One time, I saw Ch-

Chibi-Auron: *holds reader's favorite game over fire*

Seymour: Never mind

Ark Dragon: Katanas are fun to play with, did you know that? They make nice slicing sounds.

Vinnie: *is deep in thought*

DreamHuntress: What's up, Vinnie?

Vinnie: *looks up* IT'S E.T!!

All: *looks up*

*There is a bicycle flying in the sky, and then a gunshot is heard and it falls down, while someone is heard screaming*

BloodProphicy: .. Is that supposed to be funny?

Raven: She meant, what are you thinking, Vinnie?

Vinnie: You know the guy who owns that Monster arena, in the Calm lands?

Chibi-Auron: *nods*

Vinnie: Well, where does he get his items? I mean, you catch monsters, and he has large amounts of insanely rare items, including an Ultimate Weapon. Where does he get them?? (A/N: Idea from Dmor12. Thanks!)

DreamHuntress: ... Good point *glomps Seymour*

Seymour: ^_^

Rufus: Uhh.. maybe we can ask my daddy!

AngelKnight: Ain't yer daddy dead?

Rufus: No, my other daddy, Reeve!

Corey: *pops back into story* Neh?? Your daddy is Reeve?

Rufus: Well, he treats me like I'm his son..

Chibi-Auron: Hey wait! Isn't Rufus dead too?

Linnet: Ruffy is not dead!

Hellfire Guado: Whatever you say, Linnet.

Linnet: But he isn't!! HE ISN'T!! *grabs Rufus and runs off*

BloodProphicy: ... Now I have no one to torture..

*throws Rufus back in*

BloodProphicy: YAY!! *shoots up Rufus and rips out his spinal cord, jump-roping on it again*

Rufus: ... Ow

Sephy: I'm sleepy..

S.S: We should ask the Mighty Conch Shell what to do!

All: Yeah!

S.S: Oh, Mighty Conch shell, what shall we do??

*S.S pulls the string again. Remember to pause for dramatic effect!*

Conch Shell: Tseng: Rufus! Hand'eth over the Masamune!

Rufus: ?

Conch Shell: Tseng: Be that magic you use? I hath heard only magicians wield it!

Conch Shell: (new voice) Elena: Travel to the End of Time and you can learn magic as well!

Raven: Wait, Tseng and Elene aren't in Chrono Trigger..

Vinnie: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the author is playing her illegal Chrono Trigger ROM as we speak.

All: *Gasp!*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Oh, the horror! The horror!

DreamHuntress: I think she means we have to go to the End of Time to continue the damn story.

Corey: What about the whole survivor thing?

Seymour: No one is voting anyway, and aren't those banned anyway?

*Author shrugs, and is about to make an important announcement*

Linnet: **THIS IS IMPORTANT, HENCE IT IS UNDERLINED AND BOLDED! I'M NOT ACCEPTING ANYMORE REQUESTS. THE NUMBER OF CHARACTERS IS STARTING TO OVERWHELM ME, SO I'LL SPLIT THEM UP THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS. SORRY, BUT I HAVE 15 PEOPLE TO THINK LINES UP FOR, AND IT AIN'T FUN!**

Ark Dragon: Fine, but how the hell are we gonna get to the End of Time.

All: *stare at Dr. Matoki*

Dr. Matoki: ... what?

Hellfire Guado: Aren't you gonna tell us how to get to the End of Time?

Dr. Matoki: I don't know! What the hell do I look like, a scientist??

All: ...

Dr. Matoki: Ask Chibi-Auron.

G.S: Auron?

Chibi-Auron: WE USE THIS!

*Chibi-Auron holds up a shiny sphere*

All: Shiiiiiiney...

Chibi-Auron: This is a better version of Lucca's Gate key! We can go anywhere we want to without using a gate!

Sephy: So, it's a portable Epoch.

Chibi-Auron: Ri.. hey, Sephy, how do you know about the Epoch??

Sephy: *turns around whistling*

Chibi-Auron: OK, whatever, let's go!

*Everyone does Lucca's victory dance (spin around and place one hand on yer hip, another up in the air) and the special 'Portable Epoch Sphere' transports them all to..

THE END OF TIME! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This chapter may be short, I know, I have been neglecting my author duties! Bad Linnet!

*WHACK!*

Ow, anyway, I have to study for some little quiz (*cough*PlayChronoTrigger*cough*) and I need all the time. I also need to look at the rules section in my planner (AKA, Holy Book of Student Life, without it you are doomed to fail) to study for some other quiz! (*cough*PlayingFinalFantasy6*cough*)

So, I'll try to make the next chapter longer and funnier.

remember, I can't accept anymore characters, but I *will* out cameos of your character (or any character) for a section of a chapter, and I'm all ears for storyline suggestions!


	10. Multiple dimensions, multiple madness!

****

CHAPTER TEN: Hey, what happened to Spekkio?

Now we are all at the End of Time, where Gaspar appears to have done some remodeling.. Hehehehe.. 

Now, for the copy and pasted disclaimer:

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

Now, on with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*At the End of Time..*

Gaspar: *is cleaning up a nasty blood stain in Spekkio's room* No good stupid.. Confounded.. Motherfuc-

*Gaspar is interrupted by everyone falling our of a time portal*

Gaspar: STUPID ^%*(ING TRAVELERS! YOU ENTER THE OTHER WAY!

G.S: I HEARD SWEARING!

Chibi-Auron: Sowwie mister!

Gaspar: Hmph! Rotten kids..

*Everyone leaves Spekkio's room and finds that Gaspar has.. redecorated..*

*The End of Time has graffiti pasted all over the place, there is a golden $ on top of the lamppost, a bean bag chair sits underneath and a boom box is blaring 'Fight Music' by D12.*

G.S: OH GOD! *destroys the boom box*

Hellfire Guado: Damn, calm down, G.S.. it's just a song..

Rufus: Yeah, I like this one! L 

G.S: NO SWEARING IN FRONT OF AURRIE! *twitch*

AngelKnight: Calm down, G.S.. 

Dr. Matoki: Anyway, what now?

Sephy: We ask the Mighty Conch Shell!

*Sephy holds up the Mighty Conch Shell, but then he drops it*

All: *in slow motion* NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Conch Shell shatters*

DreamHuntress: NOW WE WON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! *huggles Seymour* 

Seymour: ^^

Vinnie: I know! We can ask Gaspar!

Ark Dragon: YO! Old man Gaspar! What should we do now??

Gaspar: Why the %$^ are you asking me?? What the hell do I look like, a ^%&* Guru??

Corey: … That was a trick question, right?

Gaspar: Dumbass..

Raven: Hey, how come you helped Crono and the others, but not us?

Gaspar: 'Cause! Square paid me and yer cheap-ass author did not!

All: *glare at Linnet*

Linnet: WHAT?? I need this money, you know!

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* We'll just have to explore the different time portals then..

Gaspar: Ah, there ain't no more time portals! Those lead to different game dimensions now!

BloodProphicy: Hey! What about time traveling! I wanted to go back in time and stop Seymour from ever getting that restraining order!

Gaspar: Blame it on the Cetra. They said no more time-travel, since it *&(s up the world and crap like that. Well, get the hell out of here, I have to clean up this &%$& mess..

G.S: *whistles and hides behind S.S*

Ark Dragon: OK, we'll have to split up into 6 groups..

OK, listen up! The groups are…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chibi-Auron

Golden Sephy

Hellfire Guado

Rufus 

Ark Dragon

Raven

Dr. Matoki

AngelKnight

DreamHuntress

BloodProphicy

Seymour

Sephy

Silver Sephy 

Corey

Vampirezombiegirl

Chi-Su

Vinnie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sephy: Hey, who's Chi-Su?

Chi-Su: *pops out of VZG's backpack* ^^! I'm in the story! Yay!

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* YAY! ^^

*Chrono Trigger main theme plays*

Chibi-Auron: OK! Let's go on another meaningless sidequest made to make the adventure go longer!

All: Um.. Yay?

*So, each of the groups stepped into the six portals left after the Cetra shut down time travel. Let's see Chibi-Auron's group, where did they go??*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Chibi-Auron's group*=

*Portal drops them onto some dirty playground-type lot*

G.S: Where are we?

Hellfire Guado: *reads a sign* It says.. Playground of Dooom.

Chibi-Auron: Three Os?

Hellfire Guado: *nods*

*I just want to say that the Playground of Dooom is Vampirezombiegirls's idea. Thanks!*

Chibi-Auron: Playground! Yay! Mommy, can I play??

G.S: OK, but be careful, and don't step on any glass, take needles, pills or anything from kids who look older than you, and kill someone if they make you uncomfortable!

Chibi-Auron: OK! *runs off to play in the Playground of Dooom*

Hellfire Guado: … Was that..wise?

G.S: Remember.. In this fanfic, the main characters don't die!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

==*Rufus's group*==

*Portal drops them into a smoke-filled room*

Rufus: WHHHEEEE!! THAT WAS FUN! I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!

Ark Dragon: Can I kill him yet?

Raven: *shakes head*

Ark Dragon: Sooo.. Where the heck are we?

Schala: *talking to Lavos, is drunk* ANYWAY, I SAID, I DUN CARE HOW MUCH DIS IS, I WANT MY HAIR BACK, AND SHE SAYS, I NEED BOOZE! SO I ATE AN APPLE, AND I STILL DON'T HAVE MY PURPLE BOOK BACK!

Lavos: Schala, we have guests! Oh joy! 

*Lavos comes out with a pink apron and a tray of tea*

Lavos: Sit! Make yourselves welcome, dear me, Schala, fix yourself up, you look like a drunk!

Schala: HAHAHAHAAA! PINK AND PURPLE SPORKS!!

Raven: Erm.. Where are we?

Lavos: Well, the Darkness of Time, of course! It gets quite lonely here, with only me and Schala, who is drunk half the time. 

Rufus: Tea! *drinks*

Lavos: ^_^

Ark Dragon: I'm scared..

Schala: MERRY *&^%ING CHRISTMASSSSS…TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Dr. Matoki's team*=

*Portal drops them off in the Shinra building*

AngelKnight: Hey! Isn't Rufus supposed to be here??

DreamHuntress: TURKS!

*Turks come out and stare at the three*

Reno: … The hell?

Dr. Matoki: Um… hi?

Elena: Oh, are you the new scientists Hojo sent for?

AngelKnight: … yes! We are! 

Rude: …

Dr. Matoki: Ah… where is the lab..?

Reno: 67th floor..

DreamHuntress: *drags the other two away* Um, er, thanks!

Rude: Have you seen a kid with blonde hair? Hyper? His name is Rufus.

AngelKnight, DreamHuntress and Dr. Matoki: … Of course not.

Elena: Ok! Let's go!

*AngelKnight, Dr. Matoki and Dreamhuntress step on the elevator*

Dr. Matoki: Ew, we have to spend this mission with Hojo..

AngelKnight: *gets out bazooka* This will be fun! ^^

DreamHuntress: Hey, we can't kill anyone!

AngelKnight: Awww..

Dr. Matoki: .. Yet.

*All three are heard cackling in the elevator*

Reno: Them three chicks are strange..

Tseng: I know..

Reno: AUUGGHHH! ZOMBIE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*BloodProphicy's group*=

*Portal drops them into a..um.. Ah, just think of what hell must look like*

BloodProphicy: *is chibi* HA! THIS IS CHIBI-DEMON LAND! I rule here! ^^

(I would also like to say that Blood suggested that they drop in here)

Seymour: *is also chibi* NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

BloodProphicy: *rips out Seymour's spinal cord and drags him everywhere* HEHEHEHEEE! I'm gonna have so much fun! Let's see how my kingdom is doing!

*BloodProphicy drags Seymour to the Chibi-Demon Land Palace, where the Chancellor awaits*

Chancellor: Greetings, King Blood! *bows*

BloodProphicy: Ah, hello Yakra! *flings Seymour to the side of the room* See to it this slime is sent to the… *eyes twinkle* Macarena room!

Seymour: ?

Yakra: *shivers* Er.. OK..

*Yakra sends Seymour off to the Macarena room, where soon after screams can be heard*

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHAAA! Now, why am I here again? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Sephy's team*=

*Portal drops them into a classroom*

Silver Sephy: ??

Quistis: AH! NEW STUDENTS! WE LCOME TO THE CLASSROOM OF DOOM!

Sephy: Only 2 Os?

Quistis: YES! MWAHAHAHAHAAA! Now, today we are going to study the many methods of reviving Aeris! blah blah blah blah…

Corey: She might mention the Monster Arena, maybe we should listen.

Silver Sephy: Aw, I HATE classes. *pouts and sits*

Quistis: blah blah Cheese Weapon, blah blah, reviving Aeris, blah blah impossible, blah blah Gameshark, Blah blah..8009CBDE - FF03..

*6 HOURS LATER*

Quistis: Blah blah, wooden Chocobo, blah blah blah…

Silver Sephy: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! *kills Quistis with the Chrono Trigger Masamune*

Sephy: *gasp!* You killed a teacher! You're gonna get suspended!

Corey: Sephy, we don't even belong here.

Other students: YAY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*VZG's group*=

*Portal drops them off in a blank white space*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* ?? Chi-Su, where are we?

Chi-Su: *pops put of bag* Hmmm… it looks like you are in the NC-17 section of Fanfiction.net!

Vinnie: … Didn't they scrap that section?

Chi-Su: It appears we are in a non-existent space. That must make us non-existent as well.

Vinnie: If we don't exist, how can the author write about us?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* I think this space is real, there just is nothing here.

*Some forgotten lemon floats by*

Vinnie: Oh! *grabs it* Let's see… ME AND CID?? Oo"

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Hmph! There's nothing here but deleted stories! 

Chi-Su: There *COULD* be something here.. Ya know, there used to be nothing at the End of Time*

Vinnie: *is reading a lemon of him and Yuffie* Mmm.. I like this one..

VZG: GAH! *rips up lemon and glomps Vinnie, then pokes him*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that makes it easier for me to write! ^^ So, just in case you'll forget (or already have) here is where everyone is:

Chibi-Auron, Golden Sephy and Hellfire Guado: Playground of Dooom (yes, three Os, idea from VZG, thanks!)

Rufus, Ark Dragon and Raven: Darkness of Time (Chrono Cross)

Dr. Matoki, AngelKnight and DreamHuntress: Elevator, heading up to Floor 67 (FF7, Shinra building)

BloodProphicy, Seymour: Chibi-Demon Land (Blood's idea, thanks!)

Sephy, Silver Sephy and Corey: Classroom of Doom (Again, VZG's idea. She's so cool!)

Vampirezombiegirl, Chi-Su and Vinnie: NC-17 section of fanfiction.net 

And they are SUPPOSED to be finding out where the guy in the Monster Arena in FFX gets all his rare items, INCLUDING an Ultimate Weapon. (Dmor12's idea, thanks!)

One more note: I just saw the 'proper' ending to Chrono Cross (freeing the girl inside of the Time Devourer) and it was THE BEST FRIGGIN ending I ever saw. Chrono Cross players MUST see this ending!! Here's the order you cast the Elements when you fight TD:

Yellow

Red

Green

Blue

Black

White

Chrono Cross

I know this has nothing to do with the story, but the ending was just SO GOOD! By that, I mean the music. DAMN!


	11. More madness, more fun, and more Vanilla...

****

CHAPTER ELEVEN: And the Chrono trigger-ish madness continues!

Hey, I've been wondering.. is this fic in the wrong section? I mean, it's not really based on FFX anymore.. but I never moved it simply because it'd be easier for you guys to find it. So whaddya think?

Anyway, now for the copy and pasted disclaimer!

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou (btw, cool picture!)

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

On with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*The Playground of Dooom (yes, three Os)*=

Chibi-Auron: *goes up to one kid* Hiya!

Some kid: Hey! Welcome to the Playground of Dooom! remember..

*Some kid looks around nervously*

Some kid: ... don't go near the sandbox.. *walks away cackling madly*

Chibi-Auron: Wha..? Well, that's strange! Ooh! Plushies!

*Chibi-Auron walks over to a spot under the slide, where there are a few plushies walking around*

Tidus plushie: *is striking a cool pose*

Auron plushie: *grabs Masamune plushie*

Chibi-Auron: Hey, it's me!!

Yuna plushie: *goes to defend Tidus plushie, summons Anima plushie*

Anima plushie: *roar!*

Auron plushie: *whacks Anima plushie on the head with Masamune plushie*

Anima Plushie: *dies and turns into a bunch of pyre-fly plushies*

Yuna plushie: *summons Emerald Weapon plushie*

Emerald Weapon plushie: *does Aire Tam storm*

Auron plushie: *doesn't take any damage because he has no Materia equipped* WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE

Yuna plushie: *gives Auron plushie the middle finger*

Auron plushie: *Overdrives and kills everyone*

Chibi-Auron: *is bored, toddles away*

****

Hellfire Guado: What are we supposed to do?

G.S: We have to find out where the Monster Arena guy gets all his stuff, remember?

Hellfire Guado: How would these kids know??

G.S: Excuse me, little kid, but do you know the Monster Arena man from FFX?

Little kid: YEAH!

G.S: Do you know where he gets his stuff?

Little kid: A big-ass monster flies over and delivers the stuff to him! He calls the monster Valefor and it looks like an anorexic bird!!

Hellfire Guado: That was..erm.. informative

G.S: ... So it was Valefor all this time.. did Yuna know?

*Yuna strides in wearing Tomb Raider-esqe clothing and wielding dual pistols*

Yuna: WASSAP???

Hellfire Guado: You know what's really scary? It's true...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Shinra building*=

AngelKnight: *twitches* I hate math and science..

*Elevator stops, Scarlet gets on board*

Dr. Matoki: *makes puking motions*

Scarlet: *doesn't notice, too busy filing her nails*

DreamHuntress: *glares at Scarlet*

*This goes on for several minutes*

Scarlet: *gets off, Heidagger gets on*

Heidagger: GYA HA HA! Where are you pretty ladies going??

Dr. Matoki: *is fighting urge to puke*

DreamHuntress: 67th Floor..

Heidagger: Gonna work for that crackhead Hojo, huh? Gya ha ha, he always gets the pretty ladies.. wanna swing by my office??

AngelKnight: To put it bluntly, no way in ****ing hell.

Heidagger: Wha? You like HOJO compared to me?

Dr. Matoki: No. If you two were the last men on earth, we'd let the human race go extinct.

Heidagger: GYA HA HA! Such feisty beauties.. aw, all they ever care about are those damn bastards Rufus and Reno! ... and maybe Tseng..

AngelKnight: RENO! *melts in a puddle of fangirlness*

DreamHuntress: Oo; *un-puddlefies AngelKnight*

Dr. Matoki: (get off soon, get off soon, get off soon...)

Heidagger: Well, here's my stop! *gets off..

*... and Reno gets on*

Reno: Hey! You're them scientist chicks!

AngelKnight: *grins feverishly*

*Elevator runs out of power and stops*

Reno: ?

DreamHuntress: Should we.. hold her back? *points to AngelKnight, who is slowly advancing to the unsuspecting Reno*

Dr. Matoki: *shrugs* 

Reno: Um.. hey babe? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Darkness of Time*=

Schala: TEA?? WHY THE HELL DO WE GOTTA DRINK GODDAMN TEA?? I WANT MAH BOOZE!

Lavos: Schala, please don't shout. The Darkness of Time stretches to infinity but our guests are right there.

Ark Dragon: *sips tea* hey, not bad..

Rufus: Now I know why Cid likes tea! 

Raven: I'm scared

Lavos: So! .. Um, what brings you guys here?

Raven: We're supposed to be finding out where the FFX monster Arena guy gets his stuff.

Ark Dragon: You know, like all them Megalixers and stuff..

Rufus: *takes a long minute to process these in his dull, blond mind* ... I like tea.

Ark Dragon: Raven, are you SURE I can't kill him?

Raven: Yet

Schala: NEED..BOOZE!

Lavos: I know Schala would know but.. ergh.. she needs to be bribed.

Rufus: Booze is bad for you! Look what it did to my friend Reno!

*cut to the Shinra elevator, where Reno emerges on some random floor, face covered in lipstick marks*

Reno: SWEEEET! Hojo is soooo damn lucky..

*cut back to Darkness of Time*

Raven: I dunno, Reno seems smarter than you..

Rufus: THAT'S MEAN! *cries*

Ark Dragon: Can I kill him now?

Raven: As tempting as it is, no

Ark Dragon: OK.. lemme get some booze, and I'll get Schala to talk..

*Ark Dragon goes to the End of Time, and the others wait*

Schala: *stares at Rufus*

Rufus: *stares back*

Schala: ...

Rufus: ...

Schala: ...

Rufus: ...

Schala: *blink*

Rufus: I win!!

Raven: *twirls spear and imagines him poking Rufus with it*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Chibi-Demon Land*=

*Seymour gets dragged out by Akaji and Akazi*

Akaji: Where to next, sire? 

Akazi: May I suggest.. we leave him in the hands of..

BloodProphicy: *grins* The La Raza?

Akazi: *cackles evilly* You read my mind?

Seymour: La Raza?

Akaji: Do not fear. We shall take you to the Meso-American Theme park.. the La Raza guard it.

Seymour: Theme park! Fun!

BloodProphicy: But first, you must eat..

Seymour: (Wow, Blood is actually being NICE to me! I wonder what changed..)

BloodProphicy: *snaps fingers and a tray of greasy, spicy, jalapeno filled food comes in*

Seymour: Yum! *eats*

*BloodProphicy, Akaji and Akazi grin*

Seymour: Yum! That's great and all.. but can I have something to drink?

BloodProphicy: Drink? I'm afraid we have no drinks here. 

Seymour: WHAT??

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

*Akaji stuffs more of the food down Seymour's throat, then Akazi takes him to the theme park, where he rides naseua-induscing rides*

Seymour: Need...drink....too....hot...

Akazi: *pours some water and gives it to Seymour*

Seymour: *drinks it, then spits it out* EEEEK! THIS WATER IS SO SPICY!

Akazi: But of course! It's Mexican tap water!

Seymour: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Classroom of doom*= 

Quistis's head: Blah Blah Blah, Aire Tam Storm, blah blah blah, 5 Materia, blah blah blah, 5555 damage, blah blah blah...

Sephy: Even in death she won't stop..

Corey: Stop the meaningless education..

Silver Sephy: I'm too young to die!

Quistis's head: Blah Blah Blah, Yu Yevon, blah blah blah, Reflect, blah blah blah Curaga bounces off, blah blah blah...

Silver Sephy: *Raises hand*

Quistis's Head: Yes?

Silver Sephy: Do you know where the Monster Arena guys gets his stuff?

Quistis's Head: Blah Blah Blah, Valefor, Blah Blah Blah, Secret building, blah blah blah, Lindblum, blah blah blah, Aerith, blah blah blah, evil!

Corey: ... Uh, yeah

Sephy: Yay! We actually got some information!

All three: *get up and decide to steal the Ragnorok*

Sephy: Stealing is wrong! *goes and grabs some sleeping kid's money*

Silver Sephy: ...

Corey: Ain't that.. disturbing?

All three: *go up to the Headmaster's office, where Squall is playing Final Fantasy 3 (not to be confused with Final Fantasy 6)*

Squall: DAMMIT! Stupid Jinn!

Corey: Um.. Mr. Squall?

Squall: What?

Corey: Can we borrow the Ragnorok?

Squall: Yeah sure.

Sephy: Wow. That's easier than I thought..

Squall: But first! 

Silver Sephy: Thanks a lot, Sephy.

Squall: I need you to beat this boss for me!

All three: *shrug and play FF3 (again, not to be confused with FF6)*

*Three hours later*

All three: DAMN YOU, JINN, DAMN YOU!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*NC-17 section of Fanfiction.net*=

Vinnie: Sooo.. how the heck are we gonna find anything here?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* We ask Chi-Su, of course!

Chi-Su: Check the reviews for this story.. *snicker*

Vinnie: OK!

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* NOOOOOOOO!!!

*Vinnie hops to the PG section of FFX and is getting closer to the reviews*

VZG: *tackles Vinnie, then pokes him** NEVER, I SAY! NEEEVVAAAARRR!! 

*Both roll out of the reviews section and land in chibilinnet's profile*

chibilinnet: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! Oh, hiya guys!

Chi-Su: Hey! Author, good of you to put me in!

chibilinnet: *nods and goes back to playing FF3 (remember, it's not FF6)*

Vinnie: So uh.. how do we get out of here..?

chibilinnet: There's the door. You guys be careful, now, hear?

All three: *nod*

*Before they leave, Chi-Su scribbles something in chibilinnet's lookup*

Chi-Su: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!

Vinnie: Soo.. what was in the reviews section that I wasn't supposed to see?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* I'll tell you later, now let's look for a fanfic that might explain how that guy gets his stuff! 

*While VZG and Chi-Su searches, Vinnie is still reading that lemon about him and Yuffie*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[insert quippy author-remark here]


	12. A short Intermission

INTERMISSION: because we all need one in a good (or bad) story!  
  
...................  
  
Linnet: NO!! I NEED TO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS!! THE CATERPILLAR MUST DIE! DIE, I TELL YOU!!  
  
*Kaz and Kidd drag Linnet to her computer, kicking and screaming*  
  
Kaz: This is worse than the Chrono Cross incident...  
  
Kidd: Oi, Kaz, she's getting away!!  
  
*Kaz and Kidd preform a Double Tech and tackle Linnet, dragging her back to the basement and chaining up thew door*  
  
Linnet: *pounds on door* KINGDOM HEARTS!! KINGDOM HEARTS!! KINGDOM HEARTS!!  
  
Kidd: She isn't going to write, is she?  
  
Kaz: Well, we could have an intermission..  
  
Kidd: Yeah, it's a hell of a lot better than writing the damn story again.  
  
Linnet: *tugs on Kaz's trenchcoat* Kingdom Hearts... ME WILL SUMMON SIMBA!! THEN YOU WILL SEE!! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!  
  
*Linnet tries to summon Simba, but horribly fails*  
  
Linnet: DAMMIT!!  
  
Kaz: ... Sooo.. who's writing the story?  
  
Kidd: I dunno!  
  
Linnet: COURAGE! COURAGE, DAMMIT!! *swings around her house key, which she thinks is the Keyblade* I MUST VISIT LEON!  
  
Kaz: ... That's it, get the Manipulate materia...  
  
Linnet: *pounces on Kaz* NEEEEVVAAAAARR!!!!  
  
Kaz: Oo" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Kidd: *grabs popcorn and sits back* Fun..  
  
*Chibi-Auron, Golden-Sephy and Corey walk in*  
  
Corey: So, like, we're all waiting here, is she gonna write the story?  
  
Kidd: No.  
  
G.S: Tsk! She's setting a bad example for Aurrie!  
  
Chibi-Auron: No! Mommy told me not to kill anyone unless they try to kill me first!  
  
G.S: That's right!  
  
Corey: ... So, she's not writing?  
  
Kidd: Not until we can wean her off Kingdom Hearts. You think this is bad, you should see her at school..  
  
*Scene at school cafeteria (Linnet's note: I actually did this)*  
  
Linnet: THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, WHO HAD PRETTY CURLS, WHO LIVED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST! AND WHEN SHE WAS GOOD, THE ANIMALS WOULD COME, AND SHE'D HAVE A BIG BBQ! WHOO!  
  
Rae: KATIE, I'M SCARED!  
  
Katie: Me too, Rae.  
  
*Back to Linnet's basement*  
  
Kaz: Wait, I know someone who can help! RUFUS!\  
  
Rufus: Yeah?  
  
Kaz: Make her write the story!  
  
Rufus: Linnet, write the story!  
  
Linnet: *looks at Rufus* NEVER!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME TO INSANE ASYLUM! I'M FREE! FREEEEE!! *jumps on top of boxes, hisses, then the box's give way and she falls* Ow.  
  
Rufus: Well, I've done all I can..  
  
Kidd: Damn..  
  
Rufus: *sits next to Kidd and drinks Slim-Fast*  
  
Kidd: ... Slim-Fast?  
  
Rufus: Did you see how obese Palmer and Heidagger are, dammit? Working at Shinra makes you gain weight!! *gulps down more Slim-Fast*  
  
Kaz: ...  
  
Kidd: ...  
  
Rufus: ...  
  
Chibi-Auron: ...  
  
Corey: ...  
  
G.S: ...  
  
Linnet: THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, WHO HAD PRETTY CURLS, WHO LIVED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST!...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	13. Happy Birthday, Auron no Aijou!

****

CHAPTER TWELVE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HELLFIRE!

Wheeeeeee!! Auron no Aijou (guy who made Hellfire Guado) told me it was his birthday on Oct. 14! Since it's so close, we're gonna celebrate his birthday! Hey, I'll do this for everyone else too, ya just gotta tell me yer birthday.

And now, for the disclaimer: 

The various Final Fantasy people belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou 

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Auron no Aijou: *walks happily in a dark room*

*lights go on*

Everyone (including Linnet) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AURON!!

Auron no Aijou: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! *dives behind couch*

Chibi-Auron: Dun be shy! It's yer birthday party!!

G.S: Chibi-Auron planned it all so you better like it.. *unsheathes Masamune* OR ELSE!

S.S: -_-" Where's the food?

Auron no Aijou: Oh.. hey, you remembered!

Linnet: I did?

Seymour: *gasp!* Linnet remembered something!

BloodProphicy: Ain't that grand! *accidentally *shoots Seymour in the back*

Seymour: Ow

Rufus: *pours Morphine* ^^ Here ya go!

DreamHuntress: We appreciate your concern, Rufs, but Seymour doesn't need painkillers...

Rufus: *takes a moment to process this in his dull, STRAWBERRY-BLOND mind* ... Morphine is a painkiller?

Corey: *looks at Rufus's hair* Well, it is strawberry!

Rufus: WHERE?? GET THEM OFF, GET THEM OFF!

Ark Dragon: Must...kill...stupid...ex...president..

Raven: Sheesh.. ya know, all the sudden I have a strong craving for toast with strawberry jam...

Rufus: *running around* GET THEM OFF!! GET THEM OFF!!

Hellfire Guado: Well, this is nice and all...

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* We have to play the games now! First off... 

Vinnie: *eye twitches*

Chi-Su: No, Vinnie, we don't do eye twitching contests.

Vinnie: :(

Auron no Aijou: Actually, I just wanted to spend my birthday quietly..

Sephy: Let's eat now! I wanna eat Vinnie's Chocobo!

Dr. Matoki: Ah, yes, nothing like fried chocobo!

Vinnie: Huh? You mean.. Schala?

Dr. Matoki: Hey, we had to cook it for the birthday party...

Vinnie: BUT YOU EAT CAKE, NOT FRIED CHOCOBO!

Auron no Aijou: WHO COOKED A CHOCOBO??

Sephy: ??

AngelKnight: HEY!! WHAT ABOUT ME!! Linnet, why don't I have any lines?

Linnet: 15 PEOPLE TO MAKE UP LINES FOR! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! *runs away*

AngelKnight: ... Oh well. I'm still hungry, let's eat the chocobo.

Vinnie: *goes to the kitchen and sees what used to be Schala, the River Chocobo. 

Now she's a nice...juicy...plump...edible...golden...roasted...chocobo...*

Chibi-Auron: Ain't she grand?

Vinnie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G.S: -_- I told you we shoulda caught one near the Icicle Inn..

S.S: Naw, the ones that are easy to cook are too scrawny and the WONDERFUL CHOCOBOS there are too cold to eat...

*******

(so now, the party starts)

Auron no Aijou: Forget all the party crap, I just want food and my presents! Where's the cake? I can't stand it.. eating a Chocobo.. how can you people be so cruel..?

S.S: Cake? Sis, go get it

G.S: I thought you got the cake...

Chibi-Auron: No, AngelKnight had to get the cake..

AngelKnight: I thought Dr. Matoki did...

Dr. Matoki: No, getting the cake was Raven's job...

Raven: Hell no! You said Ark Dragon had to get it!

Ark Dragon: But Seymour said he was getting it!

Seymour: I said Sephy was getting it...

Sephy: But I told Rufus to get it!

Rufus: VZG wanted to get it, so I let her get it.

VZG: No you didn't! DreamHuntess wanted to get the cake!

DreamHuntress: Nuh-uh, Vinnie wanted to get the cake.

Vinnie: I would have gotten the cake, if I knew what you were planning to do to 

Schala! Wasn't Blood gonna get the cake?

BloodProphicy: Naw! I'm a king, I don't do simple deeds! I ordered Corey to get it...

Corey: You guys never tell me anything! I never was told anything about no cake!

Auron no Aijou: ... So I have no cake?

All: ...

Auron no Aijou: But it's my birthday! I need a cake! No cake, no presents! WE NEED A CAKE!! THE WHOLE DAMN BIRTHDAY DEPENDS ON THE CAKE!

Corey: But who's gonna get the cake? Count me out.

Vinnie: Me too... too late to save Schala...

BloodProphicy: I have to torture Seymour. Can't.

DreamHuntress: I have to protect Seymour from Blood.

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Someone's gotta poke Vinnie!

Rufus: I'm gonna get lost, this place is too big for poor, dumb, strawberry-blond me...

Sephy: I'm scared, it's dark now...

Seymour: I might get attacked by anti-Seymour fans.. OR WORSE! FANGIRLS!

Ark Dragon: Have to sharpen my katana. Tradition, ya know

Raven: I have to help DreamHuntress defend Seymour

Dr. Matoki: I have a bunch of new inventions to tweak before they explode. 

AngelKnight: I gotta phone Reno!

Chibi-Auron: You aren't gonna send a poor child like me to the dark streets, are 

ya??

G.S: I have to look after Aurrie!

S.S: ... I have to help mah sis. I am his uncle, after all.

Auron no Aijou: OH FINE! I'LL GET THE DAMN CAKE!

All: Yay!

Auron no Aijou: (sheesh, it's my damn birthday and they don't even offer to buy the damn cake they forgot..)

*Auron no Aijou stomps out*

Dr. Matoki: ... Hey! He's gone! Now we can go get the presents!

Raven: Oh yeah! S.S, yer a genius! Thanks!

*Everyone goes out to buy the presents, except Sephy, who didn't forget*

Sephy: ... I hope Auron no Aijou likes Campbell Soup...

*************

(after Auron gets back)

Auron no Aijou: Good! I got the cake! Let's eat it AND open the presents!

Chibi-Auron: We gotta sing Happy Birthday first!

Corey: Did anyone bring candles..?

All: ...

Auron no Aijou: &%*5... well, someone get the candles!

Corey: I can't! My present has to be heated!

Rufus: Mine needs to be kept fresh...

Chibi-Auron: I'm too young to go...

G.S and S.S: We have to keep Chibi-Auron from stealing the present..

VZG: Me and Chi-Su have the practice.. for...something...

Sephy: I have to keep my pressie from spilling...

Raven: Uh... I can't go cuz I lost my glasses...

Auron no Aijou: But you don't wear glasses!

Raven: I do now!! *shows Lenscrafter glasses case*

Ark Dragon: I have to sharpen my present. Tradition, you know.

Dr. Matoki: My present must be kept stable. It might blow up...

AngelKnight: Reno is bringing my present, I have to wait for him!

Seymour: Blood might ruin our present if I'm away.

BloodProphicy: I have to ruin Seymour's present.

DreamHuntress: I have to protect our present. 

Auron no Aijou: &^%%&$^$%$^&^)^^$%$#@$#@$E^R%....... I'll go...

All: Yay!

*Auron leaves once more*

Corey: Now we can get birthday cards! YAY!

*Everyone else scrambles, except Rufus, who is making his*

Rufus: *draws stick figures, one with strawberry blonde hair and another one with it's head on fire* There! I'll write Best friend on it... hehehehehe...

*********

(Auron comes back, looking very pissed)

Auron no Aijou: CAN WE JUST SING THE &%&%* SONG AND OPEN UP THE PRESENTS??

Chibi-Auron: How old are you?

Auron no Aijou: ...

Linnet: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! I FORGOT TO ASK HOW OLD HE WAS!! I'M A FAILURE!! A FAILURE!!

Auron no Aijou: Calm down, it's just an age, sheesh...

Linnet: BUT WE NEED TO PUT THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF CANDLES ON THE CAKE!!

Auron no Aijou: *sigh* Who cares.. just put a random number..

Linnet: *flinch*

Chibi-Auron: *shrugs and puts the number of candles equal to the number of times Linnet died in Final Fantasy X*

Auron no Aijou: I'm not 205 years old, Auron...

Chibi-Auron: Sowwie! *puts around 10-25 and lights them. Blah*

Everyone: ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AAAUUURRRROOONN...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!

Linnet: Make a wish!

Auron no Aijou: (thinking) I wish that a meteor will fall from the sky as you people leave and kill you all.. except for the ones that gave good presents..*blows candles*

Everyone: YAY!!

Auron no Aijou: Can I have my presents now?

Chibi-Auron: Here's mine!

Auron no Aijou: *opens box*

Chocobo: Kweh!!

Auron no Aijou: CHOCOBO!! YAY!! *huggles it* Me like! I'll name you Choco-Auron, Hehehe.. only cuz Linnet can't think of a better name...

Chibi-Auron: ^^ That was from me, Mommy and Uncle Silver!

G.S and S.S: (it cost a lot too...)

Auron no Aijou: *puts Choco-Auron on head and goes back to unwrapping presents*

Choco-Auron: Wark!!

Auron no Aijou: *unwraps present from Seymour and DreamHuntress* Hey, it's a...shiny...rainbowy...dagger... HEY! ARE YOU SAYING I'M GAY??

Seymour: No! That's the most powerful dagger I could find...

DreamHuntress: Yes, because we are.. ah, short of funds...

Auron no Aijou: Oh well... *shrugs*

*Somewhere in Linnet's home*

Kidd: Oi! Kaz! Have ya seen my Rainbow Dagger??

*Back to the party*

Auron no Aijou: *unwraps present from Rufus* ...Strawberries?

Rufus: Ummm... yeah...

Auron no Aijou: I'm glad I didn't let you go buy the cake or anything... Oh well *eats them* Mmm... fresh!!

Rufus: ^^

Auron no Aijou: *gives one to Choco-Auron*

Choco-Auron: WARK!!

Dr. Matoki: Here's mine! Careful, it might blow up..

Auron no Aijou: *slowly unwraps it* Hey.. was this?

Dr. Matoki: A Death blow machine, of course!! From the Ashtear model, but I modified it so it can fit in yer pocket..

Auron no Aijou: Hmmm... this can kill anyone?

Dr. Matoki: ANYONE. Armor can barley deflect it..

Auron no Aijou: (note to self: Test on Rufus)

Auron no Aijou: *grabs AngelKnights present* Um... it's a Reno plushie...

AngelKnight: I KNOW! I have one too!!

Auron no Aijou: Um... thanks? 

Reno plushie: ...*grins, then turns back to normal*

Auron no Aijou: *scoots away from the plushie* Who's next? 

VZG and Chi-Su: Us! We made a song!

Auron no Aijou: ... Um, yay??

VZG: watch!!

*lights appear, a forest scene is in the background, and VZG and Chi-Su are wearing curly wigs*

VZG and Chi-Su: Ooooh..

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL!

WHO HAD PRETTY CURLS!

WHO LIVED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOOOORRREESSSSTT!

AND WHEN SHE WAS GOOD!

THE ANIMALS WOULD COME!

AND SHE'D HAVE A BIG BARBEQCUE! WHOO!

Auron no Aijou: *is deeply disturbed* Thanks...

Raven: Here's my present! *gives Hellfire a sphere of water*

Auron no Aijou: *remembers the incident a long time ago at the beach* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Raven: Hehehehehehe...

Auron no Aijou: *cowering behind chair* (Note to self: Test death blow machine on Raven, not Rufus)

Ark Dragon: I have.. a pencil.

Auron no Aijou: *takes the pencil* Ummm...

Ark Dragon: And look, I sharpened it for you too!

Auron no Aijou: I'm.. touched..

Ark Dragon: It's a magic pencil. It will refuse to work of you have to sign any contracts that have fine print in them so you don't get duped.

Auron no Aijou: Alright! *pockets it*

Corey: And here's my present! *Corey gives Hellfire Guado a plate of sushi*

Auron no Aijou: Ooooh! Sushi!! Me likes!

Corey: ^^

Sephy: MY PRESENT!! Here!! *gives Hellfire Guado some of that Campbell Soup in a drinkable container..*

Auron no Aijou: Um, wow... looks like I'm never gonna go without breakfast again...

Sephy: Yay!

Auron no Aijou: ... Well, this was an OK birthday party..

G.S: OK??

Auron no Aijou: I mean, this was the best birthday party I ever had, and I gotta go no.. *runs out*

Linnet: That was good!

*seconds later, meteors shower down and hit Linnet*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, happy birthday, Auron no Aijou! ^^ Now excuse me, I'm off to physical therapy..

And remember, I'll do this for anyone in the story. So all you other people just tell me if yer birthday is close and I'll do a birthday fic!!

And Auron, if I deeply offended you, I am very sorry. ^^;


	14. Ah, so NOW you start up the story again ...

****

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: OK, BACK TO THE STORY...

No more distractions, the story is back. LOL. For some odd reason... I don't want to finish FF7...

Oh, btw, I heard Spongebob Squarepants is ending or something? My friend's boyfriend says the show is coming to a close or something and I'm not sure... is this true? Tell me it's some sad rumor.. please...

Anyway, now for the copy and pasted disclaimer!

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou 

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

On with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Cut to Guardia Castle*

Serge: AHEM! CRONO! ONE OF YOUR LOYAL FANFICTION WRITERS REFUSES TO UPDATE HER STORIES!!

Crono: Hm? And who is this fanfiction writer?

Serge: Her name is chibilinnet, sir, and she has been wasting time playing Kingdom Hearts and doing school projects!

Crono: *slams fist down* OW! I mean, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! CHAIN THE AUTHOR TO HER COMPUTER!

Serge: It seems she is already chained down sir...

Crono: Oh... wait, how can she work then?

Serge: *blanks out* I don't know sir... I don't know...

Crono: WELL, FIND OUT DAMMIT! No one shirks work from my watchful eye!

Serge: YES SIR! *runs out*

Crono: Wow, those English As A Second Language classes really help out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*The Playground of Dooom*=

Chibi-Auron: *is toddling around*

Random Bully of Doom: %$&@!

Random Bully of Doom's lackey: &^%((!

Chibi-Auron: %$&@!? &^%((!? What do those mean?

*Somewhere on the other side of the playground*

Hellfire Guado: So like I said... HEY! I'm back in the story!

G.S: *nods, then freezes* Someone...swore...in...front...of...Aurrie... 

KKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*Golden-Sephy unsheathes Masamune and jumps over to the Bullies of Doom. She hacks and slash them*

G.S: NEVER...*slash!*...SWEAR... *hack!*...IN...*stab!*...FRONT...*blood!*...OF...*gore!*...AURRIE! *sploitch!*

Hellfire Guado: ... Sploitch?

G.S: I was running out of sound-effects...

Chibi-Auron: *gasp!* MOMMY KILLED THE BULLIES!! YAY!!

Other kids: HOORAY FOR AURON'S MOMMY!

Hellfire Guado: ... What about me?

Random kid: What about you?

Hellfire Guado: I'm back in the story!

Other kids: AURON'S OLDER BROTHER IS BACK IN THE STORY! YAY!!

G.S: Anyway, our job here is done...

Chibi-Auron: Or IS it? *points to Valefor flying overhead*

G.S: THERE HE IS! HELLFIRE, SHOOT IT!

Hellfire Guado: *shoots it, and then gets crushed* AHHHH! FOR AN ANOREXIC BIRD, HE SURE IS ^%&$ING HEAVY!!

G.S: *gasp!* YOU SWORE!

Hellfire Guado: Yes. Now get this thing off me.

G.S: No, because you swore! Aurrie, Mommy says don't help the mean old man until he says he's sorry!

Chibi-Auron: OK, Mommy!

Hellfire Guado: WHAT?? ALL CAUSE I ^%*(ING SWORE??

G.S: YOU SWORE AGAIN! Now you have to stay under the bird for 2 hours! Aurrie, let's go get some ice cream.

Chibi-Auron: OK! ... Can we get some for Hellfire too?

G.S: *flinch* Fine.. let's go!

*Both stride off, leaving poor Hellfire trapped under Valefor*

Hellfire Guado: Guys? Hey, don't leave me!... I didn't even tell you what ice cream flavor I wanted yet...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Shinra building*=

*The girls get off the elevator and head into the lab, much to their disgust*

DreamHuntress: Are you sure we can't kill Hojo?

AngelKnight: Not unless we bump into Reeve first.

Dr. Matoki: What chance would be there of Reeve being on this floor??

Reeve: *trips over a spare tool and goes flying, stopping right in front of the trio*

Cait Sith : HEY! WHEN ARE WE GONNA FIND RUFUS?? I miss sitting on his strawberry head... Mmmm... strawberries...

Reeve: Shut up, ya stupid cat!

Cait Sith: Bite me!

Reeve: Why the hell did I ever take adopt you??

Cait Sith: You wanted a kid, but kids annoy you.

Reeve: ... I hate you.

Dr. Matoki: O_o... I thought Reeve and Cait Sith were the same...?

Reeve: Oh no! Cait Sith is Rufus's creation! Do you think I'm insane enough to make something has stupid as HIM?? *points to Cait Sith*

Cait Sith: ... I like tea.

AngelKnight: Yep, Rufus made him alright.

DreamHuntress: Hey, Reeve, do you know the Monster Arena guy from FFX?

Reeve: That's the same crap Cait Sith is asking me!

Cait Sith: Rufus said you knew!

Reeve: You, shut up.

Cait Sith: *sticks tongue out* ... I like morphine too...

Reeve: Hojo might, he's talking some crap about fake Megalixers and a cheap imitation Nirvana rod...

AngelKnight: Hey! That must be it! OK, thanks for nothing Reeve!

Reeve: That's OK! Here, take Cait Sith, I'm sick of him! *Reeve runs away*

Cait Sith: *follows* NO!! DADDY, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!

Dr. Matoki: ... That was... odd.

DreamHuntress: No kidding.

Hojo: Ah! You three must be my new specimens?

Dr. Matoki: You wish. Actually, we are here to ask you about the Monster Arena Guy from FFX!

Hojo: ... I know nothing of it.

AngelKnight: That's not what Reeve said.

Hojo: ... I hate Reeve... Very well, I do know him... I send him cheap Megalixers and a cheap imitation Nirvana rod, why?

Dr. Matoki: What's so cheap about them? What's the difference from a real Megalixer?

Hojo: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! That's the beauty of it! THERE IS NONE!!

All: ...

Hojo: So... shall we start testing?

AngelKnight: KILL!!

*All three kill Hojo, very quickly, but not painlessly.*

DreamHuntress: ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Darkness of Time*=

Rufus: Is Ark back yet?

Raven: No.

Rufus: Is Ark back yet?

Raven: No...

Rufus: Is Ark back yet?

Schala: can you make him shut up? Fry his brain or something...

Raven: *thinks* ... I GOT IT!! *turns to Rufus* Mary's mom had four kids. One was called North, the other West, the other South. What was the fourth child?

Rufus: East!

Raven: No, it's Mary.

Rufus: HOW??

Raven: Think about it...

Rufus: *thinks*... ... ... ...*slumps forward, asleep*

Schala: How you do that?

Raven: Magic!

Lavos: I JUST BAKED SOME COOKIES?? WANT SOME??

Rufus: Cookies??

Schala: HE WOKE UP!! ;_;

*Rufus grabs the tray and stuffs all the cookies down his throat. Unfortunately, he chokes*

Lavos: Oh no! I have to... Oh, no now I have to summon Chronopolis to 2400 AD so the Time-Loop is stable and I don't unleash screaming temporal doom. I'll be back in a few!

Raven: NOW!! 

*Raven and Schala throw Rufus into a random plot hole.*

-In the End of Time-

Ark Dragon: *emerges from the End of Time gift shop* Well, that was easy! I got plenty of booze to keep Schala happy!!

Zim: STUPID HUMAN! YOU ALMOST STEPPED ON MY TEST SUBJECT!

Ark Dragon: *looks down* ... A piggy?

Zim: YES! I must punish those Nickelodeon fools for canceling my show! NOW, TO UNLEASH SCREAMING TEMPORAL DOOM!

Ark Dragon: Oo"

(A/N: Yeah, I know the cancellation of Invader Zim is old news, but I was reading something about the Dead Sea from Chrono Cross and the phrase "Temporal Inertia" popped up. I remembered that quote and I HAD to use it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Chibi-Demon Land*=

BloodProphicy: *is playing Britney Spears*

Seymour: STOP THE MUSIC, STOP THE MUSIC!

BloodProphicy: *wearing the world's best set of earplugs* WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU?

Seymour: STOP...THE...MUSIC!

BloodProphicy: *motions for the music to be stopped*

Seymour: YAY!

BloodProphicy: *takes out earplugs* Now then, how else shall I torture you?

Seymour: You're supposed to be helping the others one their meaningless sidequest to find out where the Monster Arena guy gets his stuff!

BloodProphicy: And miss up the chance of torturing you? Nah-uh.

Seymour: So... your part of the story will comprise of you torturing me??

BloodProphicy: Yep..

Seymour: WHY, LINNET, WHY??

Linnet: *pops in* BECAUSE, SEYMOUR! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO?? DO YOU?? DO YOU??

Seymour: Yes!

Linnet: OK! I have this person whom I call a friend. She has FFX. She annoys me, BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE FIGHTS YOU, SHE CALLS ME UP AND PLEADS FOR HELP, AND BECAUSE HER CHARACTERS ARE BEYOND CRAPPY, I HAVE TO TAKE UP THE JOB OF BEATING YOU TO LITTLE PIECES!!

Seymour: ... Well, you can just refuse...

Linnet: No! Because then she'll phone... all...the...time... and it won't stop... *blanks out* It...won't...stop...

BloodProphicy: Um... OK... *ties Seymour up to a giant slab of meat and hangs him over a shark tank* So, what are your last words before I feed you to Squall?

Squall: IT'S LEON!

BloodProphicy: I AIN'T TALKING 'BOUT YOU! I'M TALKING ABOUT MAH SHARK!

Squa-er, Leon: Oh... *walks away*

Seymour: No! Please! I'll do whatever you want! 

BloodProphicy: Anything?

Seymour: *nods*

BloodProphicy: Good. Because I want you to fall in the tank and get mauled by 

Squall. MY SHARK, THAT IS...

Leon: *sulks away*

*Blood drops Seymour*

Seymour: NOOOOOOOO-AUGH! PAIN! MY SPLEEN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Classroom of Doom*=

Corey: WE DID IT! JINN IS DEAD!

Squall: Lemme... HEY! AUTHOR! I SAID MY NAME IS LEON!

FF8 Squall: Leon? What the hell you doing here, this is MY part in the fic!

KH Leon: *grumbles and walk away*

FF8 Squall: ... So, like, what kind of illegal ROM are you guys playing on my computer?

Silver Sephy: Oh, we just beat Jinn so we could borrow the Ragnorok...

FF8 Squall: Ya didn't need to do that! All ya had to do was ask...

Sephy: ... So, we did this for nothing?

FF8 Squall: Pretty much.

*someone slamming the piano keys is heard, as all three scream "NOOOOOOO!!!"*

Squall: Yo, chill out, dudes, it's all right! Here are the keys...

Silver Sephy: YAY! hey, can this thing cross dimensions?

Squall: If you go fast enough. Just push the Booyaka button.

Corey:... Booyaka?

Squall: It used to be the "Push this button to go really fast and end up in the next 

Final Fantasy", but Selphie changed it to the Booyaka button.

Sephy: ... COOL! CAN WE SEE IT??

Squall: Sure... but first, you have to help me with a minor problem...

Silver Sephy: What is it?

Squall: Nothing much... except Pyre flies have overrun the garden and fiends are popping up everywhere and eating the hot dogs, plus destroying any supply trucks coming here so we will starve in a week unless something is done.

Corey: That's a MINOR problem?

Squall: It can get worse. Try angering a sorceress that has PMS.

All: *nod* OK, fine, it's minor...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*=R section of Fanfiction.net*=

Chi-Su: It's a good thing we got out of the NC-17 section before FF.net totally got rid of all the stories and crushed the section to non-existent bits!

Vinnie: No it's not! My cape was back there...

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* YOU STILL HAVE ME!

Vinnie: ... So?

VZG: *smacks Vinnie* THAT WAS NOT NICE!

Vinnie: AAAHHHH! *falls into a random story*

VZG: Good going, Chi-Su, this is all your fault...

Chi-Su: ME?? WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE MY FAULT!

VZG: Because! 

Vinnie: *gets kicked out of the story* Ow.

VZG: VINNIE! *pokes him*

Chi-Su: Anyway, we need a safer area to go to before a new story gets added on the list. Cuz then we'll get crushed.

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* LET'S GO TO THE FF.NET HOMEPAGE! They barely update that thing anyway!

Vinnie: Good idea! *drinks morphine* Ah, I never get tired of morphine...

Chi-Su: AHEM!

VZG: WATCH OUT! *pokes Vinnie* THERE'S A NEW STORY DROPPING IN!!

*All scramble madly as the story drops down. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will Rufus escape from the Plot hole? Does Schala know all? Will Vinnie, VZG, and Chi-Su escape the falling fics of doom? Will Hellfire be freed from Valefor? These questions and more, not answered in the next chapter! GWAHAHAHAHAAAA!


End file.
